Things have been really hectic around here (more on that later) so the lovely Colin of SuperParents have kindly volunteered to Guest Post here over at MLIM. :) Please be nice and share your thoughts.
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Hello everyone, it’s Colin. Since 2009 bloggers would know me as the face of the parenting blog
previously known as SuperParents. Lesser known is the fact I hold a high grade black belt in
Taekwondo and I’m going to be using those life experiences to relaunch SuperParents as an anti-
bully training provider.
While I’d love to introduce my new business plan, please let me first get to the issue many people
most often dwell on – that is, yes, I am a black belt. And no, I do nothing like what you see in the
Little Dragon’s program.
Becoming a black belt and rising up through instructor ranks means that for most of my life, I have
willingly put myself through a variety of arduous physical and mental training. Even now, well past
40, I often pit myself against younger, stronger, and larger opponents.
My aim however, isn’t really to torture myself. The idea is to confront weaknesses. To hone strengths. To survive in the face of odds. I know it sounds cliché, but the amount of blood and sweat I’ve literally invested removes by far from whatever latest ad campaign you’d see for that pair of running shoes.
The path I tread sometimes deals with defence against attacks from a home intruder, or a car
thief holding a crowbar, or a knife fight, or someone holding a gun to your head. It is not that I
am dwelling on such events. In fact, I am hoping they will never occur. But rather than chance it, I
practice defences against these attacks over-and-over again like it’s the only thing I do.
There’s always an urgency to get better – martial arts is not a magic bullet. Anyone who thinks they can do a little ‘self defence’ and get away from an attacker without so much as a scratch is dreaming. Facing an attacker is difficult. No attacker who attacks you attacks because they think they’re going to lose. They pick on you, victimise you, and do this blatantly because they think they’re going to win and they think they’re going to get away with it.
Over the many years of being involved in the martial arts I see so many people holding on to the
hope that with a simple wave of the hand, some ‘self defence’ moves will save the day. They hope
to be able to buy some of the skills I have bled to achieve, and they hope they might be able to use this against an assailant – with little effort. They do this without considering that many of such skills are tactics which I use only as a last resort. A ‘last resort’ meaning I don’t rely on unarmed combat to ensure my family’s safety. Would you?
Just like my own journey, SuperParents’ Anti-Bully philosophy is like this ... there is a chance that
you are going to be victimised – however you define or label victimisation. But we are not going to
dwell on last resort tactics or magic bullets. We look at all those factors within our control and how
to reduce the probability our children get bullied. And if, in the off chance they are victimised, we
empower them to be robust and resilient to withstand such negativity until more help comes their
way.
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Colin Wee is a 6th Degree Black Belt in Traditional Taekwondo. His website SuperParents was a parenting blog tied with Aussie Mummy Bloggers.
Please support his free Anti-Bully Presentation for Adults – for more information and to register for the event, go to SuperParents@Eventbrite. I will be attending this in November. :)
My baby will be turning 2 soon. It's so hard to believe that 2 years ago, I was holding a new born in my hand. It's such a strange feeling watching my little girl grow up and blossom into a beautiful Toddler.
The other day, we went to watch M play soccer at his home ground, although she was not interested in the game, she manage to cheer on her dad and was clapping her hands every time she sees him run past. She got bored after a while and decided she wanted to play with the swings and slides. I asked if she wanted me to hold her hands and go up the slides with her and she said No and pushed me aside.
One part of me was happy that she is confident enough to play on her own and make her own mistakes but the other part of me was really sad because she is slowly not needing me to do things for her anymore. I am going to be one of those over protective mothers aren't I? I will try not to smother her too much. I promise.
Since she didn't want any help getting up and down the slides, I took photos of her and let her have her space and watch from a distance and went to her when she needed me. Enjoy the photos while I sit in the corner trying not to cry. :)
Are you learning to let go slowly as well? Am I the only one who is having this problem?
Family meals. It's the best part of my day. Although, I am sometimes late, we do try to eat as a family here at Casa d Mono. It is where we discuss our day and plans for the next day or week.
I remember as a child, my family and I often have at least one meal together. It may be breakfast, lunch or dinner, depending on when my dad is available. As we get older and more grown up, this was of course harder to accomplished because of our different schedule but we do try to have a meal as a family once a week.
A few months ago, I went to Ikea to get a small table and chairs for the Lil' Tiger. This is so that she can sit on a table and a chair to eat her meals. What did not cross my mind was where M and I were going to sit! HAHAHA.. so we ended up sitting on tiny little stools eating on a tiny little table and having our family dinner. If M or I am not at the table, the Lil' Tiger will come get us and "invite" us to sit with her on the table. She doesn't like eating alone, I think, which is fair enough. Who likes to eat alone with a house full of people?
Do you eat meals together as a family? Do you discuss things at the dinner table?
Last week, I spoke about the Olympic Spirit that I have in me and I showed you an ad from Telstra that made me cry.
This week, for Mummy Mondays, I am going to share with you the ULTIMATE tear jerker of an ad for the Olympics! Some of you may have seen this ad and some of you may not but I thought I would share it with you anyways.... The ending where all the mums cried because they are so proud of their children, the first time I saw the ad, I cried so hard I couldn't breathe. I am so thankful for my mother who sent us to every training and every meet we ever had. Although we are not olympians, I am sure that she was proud of our acheivements.
I know that I will do the same for the Lil' Tiger and her siblings. I would be as proud of her acheivements as if she won an Olympic medal.
What do you think of the Ad? Did you cried as much as I did?
One night, we were eating dinner per usual, on our tiny toddler table with the 3 of us around it, and as we were finishing up, the Lil' Tiger said "Mummy FINISH". Letting me know that she has finished her dinner. She then proceeded to take her empty dish to the sink. This act shocked me as I have always cleared the table after we ate our meals. I have never taught her how to clear her own dish.
I spoke to her carer at daycare and she told me that, they teach the kids to "help out" as one of their life skills. She also told me that the Lil' Tiger likes to help out the most. I remember one of her carers in her baby room told me once that the Lil' Tiger loves helping her "wipe" the shelves as well. They would give her a cloth and she would mimic them. They think it's amazing that she is willing to "help" out. They have encouraged me and M to get her to help out at home so that good habits can be formed.
Now at home the Lil' Tiger helps out by "wiping" down our dinner table (pictured) and puts her empty dishes in the sink after she is done. I am so proud of my little girl. M and I thinks she enjoys helping out as well because you can see the excitement in her eyes and she yells out YEAY! when she is done with her chore. I never thought that you can start teaching them chores at this age. I know when I was younger, we started helping out really young too. I think 5 was the earliest memory of me putting dishes in the sink and at 7, I was in charge with washing up the dishes.
At what age do you remember helping out with chores at home? Do you teach your kids to help out as well?
When I was a little girl, in fact till the age of 13, my sisters and I love playing pretend. We would play pretend every day of the week. We would pretend to be parents, doctors, shop keepers, teachers and so on. Growing up, we didn't have the latest or the coolest toys. We often use what we have.
When we are playing indoors, we often use our pencils as spoons and our dolls as babies. We also often take plastic cups and plates from the kitchen to play. My sisters and I would "visit" each others house and try to host dinner or lunch. And if we are playing outdoors, we used leaves as money to "buy" rocks or twigs, made cakes out of muds and "rice" out of sand. We would use old plastic tubs as bowls and a large branch from some where as the wooden spoon. It was one of the most fondest memories I still treasure.
The other day, the Lil' Tiger came up to me and said "Mummy, Mummy, look look.... Hat!" She was telling me that she was "going outs" to go "opping (shopping)". This took me by surprise because I never knew that we can start playing pretend at this age. This is one of the reason why I love my day care so much! They teach my daughter things that I never knew she could comprehend at this age. Looking back, I don't even know when us sisters start playing pretend. We just did.
The Lil' Tiger also came up to me on the same day, asking me to drink from a pretend cup that she fashioned out of one of her blocks. She pretended to feed me with her colouring pencil and said "eat eat" and I had to pretend to eat from her "spoon". Amazing.
So now, I am trying to think of ways to play and get the Lil' Tiger to explore through pretend. Not sure how am I going to do it yet.
What was your favourite game of Let's Pretend? Were you a princess? A teacher? A doctor?
Owh deary me... It's not always that rosy here in Casa d Mono. I think we have hit the terrible 2s phase. I think I know why they called it the terrible 2s and I can understand why at 2 years old, you would be frustrated.
At this stage, I understand that most children understand the basic cause and effect (affect?). They understand a little bit of consequence. Take for example this photo. What happened? Well, the Lil' Tiger wanted more than her fair share of morning tea and after being told she had enough and has to wait till lunch time, THIS happened. A screaming child complete with tears.
At this age, it's hard for children to communicate to parents what they want and if communications are either ignored or misunderstood, then the child might get angry or frustrated and usually it results in tears and screams. When I sense the Lil' Tiger is trying to tell me something and is getting frustrated because I can not understand her, I will usually try to get her to show me what she wants by pointing or saying words. Once I understand what she is trying to say or show me, then we are usually happy as Larry BUT sometimes, I feel like she is testing her boundaries with me and that is when we clash.
My child, my sweet little girl, is a willful child. She is the exact replica of me. We are both stubborn. I am not sure how M will last in this household. HAHAHA... anyways, she is very very determined. Once she set her mind on something, she will not lose track until she gets it. I guess that is not a bad thing but it does make us clash heads from time to time. OWH I can see us going at each other when she becomes a teen.
It is a good thing that I learnt something from my parents while they were bringing us girls up. To turn a deaf ear. Yes. You see tears and screams doesn't really work for my parents. You can scream all you want or cry all you want and it will not get you your way. What works for my parents that I will ATTEMPT to make it work on my sweet little child is talking and working through it. We were thought that we can not get anything and everything we want and kicking and screaming will not get you anywhere. In fact, kicking and screaming will take you further away from what you want.
I am still learning. I do give in sometimes when I am either tired or I just want to get on with things. I feel bad sometimes for giving in and I feel even worst for not giving in sometimes but I do want to set an example that we can not have everything we want or we have to wait our turn to use something.
Do you have a willful child? How are you handling it?
So when Mummy is sick, the whole household stops. Well... it partially shuts down apart from the basic necessities like dinner on the table, bath time and changing nappies but other than that, it all halts.
I was down with a mild ear infection 2 weeks ago and I have to say, I now understand what an ear ache, tooth ache and a very very bad sinus migraine all rolled into one feels. I couldn't even get out of bed the first day becuase as soon as I stood up, the whole room was spinning. It took me a lot of breathing in and out and a few dizzy spells to get my little girl up and ready to go that morning. After she left, I literally crawled back into bed and was drifting in and out of sleep the whole day. The only thing I got up for was water and to go pee. I couldn't do anything. Yikes.
The house was a mess and it's a good thing that M knew how to prepare dinner. He prepared dinner for the family and got the Lil' Tiger ready for her bath and then bed. Me? I was tucked in bed with a hot cuppa tea and wishing that they ripped that side of my head off because of the throbbing pain.
After the 3rd day, I felt a little bit normal and went to my living room and to my shock and horror, everything was everywhere! Toys were under the chairs and ants, ANTS were everywhere. Feeling a little bit restless, being horizontal for 2 days can do that to you, I took out the vacuum and just started vacuuming. I felt a surge of energy. I am not saying that M did not do his best to keep the house neat and tidy, it's just that it is not to my liking. :D HAH! But man I felt so much better after that.
Does your household stop when you are sick or does your partner takes over?
Our Saturday morning started out as per usual. I got the call for Mummy at 630am and took the Lil' Tiger into bed with me for a little morning cuddle, our Saturday morning ritual aka mummy still needs to lie down in bed still. After a good 30 minute cuddle, we got out of bed and I asked my little toddler what she wanted for breakfast and she said "TOAST". So I obliged. I thought it would be a good idea to have some peanut butter on our toast this morning so I slather on some andI proceed to walk to the front of the house with toast and cuppa tea in hand and we watch some cartoons, another Saturday morning ritual that we have.
"Mummy....itcy...itcy" she said while scratching her neck.
"Don't scratch," I said. Not thinking anything else was out of the ordinary. We all know that the the Lil' Tiger suffers from eczema. Scratching is not out of the norm.
"Mummy.....itchy itchy.... owie" she said with more urgency.
"Stop scratching LT. Let mummy have a look." I put my toast down and to my shock and horror, welts and hives have formed on the right side of her face and neck. It was red and swollen. I immediately got up and went to our medicine box to look for the bottle of antihistamine that I have for her when the rogue eczema comes for a visit and immediately gave it to her whilst trying not to panic.
I told her that we are going out and we should put on our shoes. She sat down quietly while I try not to shake as I put on her shoes and we were out the door. I kept telling M to check on her to see if the welts and hives got worst, but he kept saying no and looked like it has all gone down. We arrived at Princess Margaret Hospital in 20 minutes and made a mad dash to the ER. We were seen immediately as it was not very busy. THANK GOD!
After what seemed like FOREVER, we were assessed by the ED Nurse and then a doctor. The ED nursed told me I did the right thing in giving her antihistamine before coming to the hospital. It was because of what I did that the allergy reaction did not go too far. *phew* At least I did something right. The doctor came back to us and gave us a management plan and a referral to the allergy clinic.
This is all new to me. I have never cared for someone who has an allergy like this. My sister Nana has an allergy to seafood but nothing that an antihistamine wouldn't fix. I have been reading and hearing things of an Anaphylaxis shock and I have to tell you, I AM SHIT SCARED! I know she did not have a shock, but it is still at the back of my mind. So I guess we will be making our appointment to the allergy clinic and will get it confirmed but until then, I am trying not to give her any more peanut butter.
Is your child allergic to nuts? Mind sharing some tips with this scared mum? I would be grateful!
Mother wife daughter sister blogger runner dog lover mindful gratitude wellness seeker in Perth.
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