My Life in Mono...

10 things I am grateful for right now

 

 

Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend.  - Melody Beattie 

The quote above couldn't have come at a better time.  I posted a frazzled moment on Instagram last night because I was feeling so down.  M and I have been trying to have our second child for a while and it has proven a difficult task.  I think back and laugh because throughout my younger life, I tried so hard not to fall pregnant and now it's the complete opposite.  

As mentioned, it is times like these, times where I feel like my life in completely lacking, times where I feel like I have been left behind, times where I feel "WHY ME" that my gratitude game is strong.  

  

10 THINGS I AM GRATEFUL FOR RIGHT NOW

1. A working electric kettle.  Yes. I am grateful for a kettle.  There is no better way to warm yourself up in winter than with a cup of hot tea.  
2. My mum.  She is here for a little visit and once a week I go over to my sister's place to spend time with her and eat her home cooked meals.  Usually this is also the time where I learn how to cook these meals. 
3. Miss 5.  Her endless cuddles and drawings of "I love you mums".  
4. My nephew and niece.  They shower me with endless cuddles and kisses on the cheek.  My nephew is at the stage where he is able to carry a conversation and it is often hilarious. 
5. My Kikki.K planner.  This year I went back to a pen and paper journal after not using it for a number of years.  So grateful that I am able to afford and find resources to properly use it. 
6. Bosses and colleagues.  I work in a very small law firm.  There are only 6 of us. It is like a little family.  We share everything and support each other through our hardship.  I feel like I come to the office to work with great friends.  My boss doesn't take himself too seriously and is a great mentor. 
7. Studying again.  Last month, I enrolled myself to study to become an Early Childhood Educator in Montessori.  It has been something that I have been thinking and wanting to do for the last 3 years and this year I decided to take the plunge.  
8. Hot water bottle.  Because.... well Winter.
9. Friends on social media.  Some I have met in real life and some I have seen grow and blossom into amazing and inspirational people. 
10. M.  Through our differences, I am grateful that he is on my side supporting me with everything. 

 

WHAT ARE YOU GRATEFUL FOR AT THE MOMENT? 

Learning how to set goals

I spent a good part of the morning today at a Goals Setting workshop hosted by Kikki K.  I went to one of their Happiness one in January and enjoyed it very much.  The other reason that I love going to their workshop is, I get to come home with one of their beautiful journals. :) 

Helle, who conducted this workshop is amazing and inspirational.  I can relate so much with her when she told us a little about her life. When she was younger, she suffered from Anxiety and Depression and how she conquered it was pretty amazing.  I am always amazed by people who have overcome Depression.  They are my true heroes. 

I always come out from workshops or seminars like this inspired and gearing to go.  My only downfall is, I lack the motivation to keep it going.  Helle gave me tools today to help me set my goals and reach them.  I am capable of achieving my goals and I do have the tools to achieve it.  So there is really no reason why I always lose steam before I achieve them right?  Well.... not really...

I conclude that I have a couple of pitfalls:-

• I do not write them down as specific as I can.  We learnt how to use the SMART way, more on that in another post once I learn as much as I can about it. 
• Self doubt.  Yep. I sure do know this one by heart. I spoke about how I am slowly learning how to love myself here. 
• And lastly, procrastination.  YEP.  I am a big procrastinator.  I plan and plan and plan and I sometimes don't end up doing what I plan to do because I procrastinate. 

We were asked at the workshop "What our core values are?" and write them down.  There was a sheet with a list of words that represents core values.  The ones that jumped out at me today were Learning/Teaching, Nature and Balance. From your core values, you can set your goals up so there are less chances of you failing because it correlates to your core values.

There are some bits and pieces that I would like to note down and share:-

• Helle talked about the Rock Pebbles and Sand way to prioritise.  I still need to read and learn more about this method.
• Every elite athlete will need to physically and mentally rehearse.
• What you focus on, grows.  
• If it lights you up, you dont need anyone's approval 
• Helle introduced me to an inspirational speaker called Louise Hay.  I am already pinning her affirmations on Pinterest and also will be sharing her affirmations on my Facebook page. 

I am still learning so I am still trying to tweak my process.  If you have anything to share, please share them with me here or on my Facebook page. :)

 

Highlights of the week

1. Autumn is finally here! Cooler days and nights means that I can save on electricity. HA!
2. The Long Weekend. This means that I can experiment more on meal prep for the week. 
3. Discovering Smoothie bowls.  If you follow me on Facebook, Instagram or Pinterest, you will see that I have been pinning, sharing and taking photos of delicious smoothie bowls. 

Why we need friends?

Roy and I met when we were 11 years old.  We were in different classes but we knew each other.  It was at a time when everything was awkward. 

You remember.  Those, "why am I breaking out" days.  Those, "why am I angry all the time" days.  Those, "why am I bleeding down there" days.  Those days where everyone is telling you that anything is possible, yet, the same people are telling you, you shouldn't be doing that, days.  Those days where you kinda like boys, BUT, you are still scared that they might give you cooties. HAHA!  AH... those pre pubescent days.  

Roy and I became best friends when we were 14.  We were prefects in our school and we always try to work our favourite shifts together. Manning the school gates.  I remember we would sit in the little hut in front of the gate and just talk about the latest music videos we have seen and which teacher is giving us a hard time, it was almost every teacher but one.  He would help me out with homework, and I would help him out with girl problems.  

We were separated when I moved to a different city.  We kept in touch though through letters.  YES, SNAIL MAIL! He would tell me what the latest gossip would be in the old school and I would complain that my new school sucks and the people sucks. A few years later, he moved to my city to further his studies.  My task, at the beginning of every term,  was to pick him up from the airport and drive 1 hour and drop him off at his university.  His task was to pay me in the form of his late mother's pineapple tarts, for my "troubles".  This went on for a couple of years and then, I moved again.  This time to Perth. 

We were bro-mates, soul sisters, the bestest friend of all time.  We could read each other's mind just from a look. Even today, 4,045kms apart (yes, I googled that), we can still sense when either of us are in distress. It is like we are linked in some sort of cosmic energy, wave length type thing.  We would go without talking to each other for days and even months and then suddenly, one random text from him would appear saying that he can sense that I am in trouble, and I would be.  I don't know if it is a coincidence, but that didn't happen just the one time.  It happens ALL THE TIME.  When I was going through rough times with my marriage, I would get a text massage from Roy asking me if I am ok.  We would always comment on how eerie our connections because it seems like he has a crystal ball and is spying into my life and vice versa. 

Roy, if you are reading this, and I know you do because I told you to, I am grateful that you are in my life.  I am grateful that you were there for those awkward stages in life.  I am grateful that you knew when times were bad and called me to check up and I am grateful that you gave me space to get on with my life.  I am grateful that for our 25 years of friendship through thick and thin.  I am grateful that we can prove to people that it is completely ok for a man and and woman to be best friends and nothing more than that.   Thank you my friend.  Here is to the next 25 years of being best friends. 

 

Highlights of the week

1. My little girl started her formal schooling and she is coping so well. 
2. Air conditioning and cold water.
3. Not buying lunch 3 weeks in a row. Woohoo! 

Why I love myself

How many of us here are guilty of negative self talk and Self Doubt?  I am not a stranger to it. There was a point in time that the conversations in my head towards myself, is a negative one.  

"Look at your hair! It's so frizzy and unmanageable!"

"You can't fit into that dress! You have layers of fat around you"

"Why bother with make up? It makes you look weird"

"No wonder his eyes wanders, look at you! So unkept"

Yep! These are actual conversations I have had the pleasure of having with my own self. So much fun to be in my head sometimes. I spoke about negative self talk two years ago as well. This is an issue that I am still working on.  It is hard when you have had 30 odd years of practice.  

I have had the pleasure this week to discover a podcast called The Mindful Kind by Rachael Kable. In episode 8 she talks about negative self talk and how to overcome that.  She had an exercise where you sit with a pen and paper and set 5 minutes aside and start writing about what you think about yourself.  The negatives and the positives, no judgement.  I was surprised to see how much negative was there on the paper. She mentioned that at the end of the day, they are just thoughts.  They are usually and most probably not true. 

This week's gratitude challenge is all about self love.  Some may think that it is vain to love yourself, but as Mama Ru said, "If you don't love yourself, how in the hell are you gonna love somebody else!"

So, I am starting out small. :)  I am listing 5 points on WHY I LOVE MYSELF. 

I AM LOYAL.  They say it has something to do with my star sign, I am a Taurus by the way, that I am fiercely loyal.  Once I call you a friend, there isn't much that you can do to shake me off.  

I AM ALWAYS ON TIME. If you tell me to be at the beach by 2pm, I will be at the beach by 2pm.  I am almost never late unless there is a legitimate reason. Even then, I would have told you in advance that I am going to be late. :) 

I AM PASSIONATE. When I set my mind to doing something, I do it with passion.  Nothing can stop me in my tracks.  I am passionate about equal opportunities, as in gender equality and marriage equality, I am passionate about motherhood, from breastfeeding to bottle feeding and I am passionate about my family. 

I AM LOVING.  I love.  I love animals, I love my family and I love my close friends.  When I love, I care very deeply about the person and I would go the extra mile and take a bullet for them.  

I AM ENOUGH. I am enough.  I am enough as I am.  Sure I want and need to improve in some aspects of my life but at the moment, right this minute, I am enough.  I give enough and I receive enough.  

This is really a foreign concept to me.  Self love is not one that I am use to.  It is a little hard for me to replace Self Love with Self Doubt. Self Doubt seems to be so easy to do and the first thing that jumps in front in my head. I am working on it.  Hopefully by the end of this challenge, Self Love will finally replace Self Doubt. 

 Highlights of the week

1. All the rain that we have been getting.   
2. Breakfast cooked for me on Sunday morning. 
3. I did not buy lunch for the whole week! WOOHOO! 

Top 10 Reasons to Love Perth

 

"A City isn't so unlike a person, 

They both have marks to show, they have many stories to tell, they see many faces, they tear things down and make new again."

-Rasmenia Massoud

 

I currently live in Perth, Western Australia. It is known to be the second most isolated state capital in the world.  The nearest state capital to Perth is Adelaide, which is 2,139km away.  Flying to Adelaide and flying to Bali, Indonesia takes roughly the same amount of time.   It is closer to fly to Bali, Indonesia than to fly to Melbourne or Sydney. It is also, sometimes, cheaper to fly to Singapore than it is to fly to Melbourne or Sydney.  

I love Perth.  I know a few people that would love to complain about this wonderful city but I am going to give them 10 reasons not to and I hope, they would be thankful to be living in this beautiful city. I enlisted my Perth friends and asked what they like about living in Perth and these are the answers I got :) 

 

TOP 10 REASONS TO LOVE PERTH

The Beaches - The closest beach is at least 30 minutes away from where ever you might live.  The white sands and the clear blue water. Need I say more. The beach is always open even in Winter! Still perfect beach weather!  Our favourite beach is Rockingham Beach. The water there is calm and shallow.  

The weather - We all heard the term, "Melbourne has 4 seasons in 1 day".  Not in Perth.  In Perth, when it is Summer, the sun is out almost all summer.  You will get the occasional rain summer storm here and there but nothing as drastic as 4 seasons in 1 day.  One of my friend mentioned that there is almost no humidity here, you get one or two days out of the year but you are not constantly dripping in sweat as you walk out your home or office. The air in Perth is always fresh and crisp especially when you step out the door in the morning. 

Laid Back - I can't get over how laid back everyone is in Perth.  The colloquial term "No Worries" really mean No Worries.  Perth is a city that is never too busy.  No one is in a Rat Race and you can still find people smiling at each other on the streets.   A lot of my friends mentioned that you can balance work and life so well in Perth.  

The Parks - There are at least 4 parks or parklets within a kilometre radius of my home.  FOUR! Every single one of them within 2-5 minutes walking distance.  You almost do not need a big backyard for the kids to play because of that.  Some have playgrounds some are just big huge open spaces.  Perfect for exercising your dogs and children. :) 

The Wineries -  Because we are so isolated with the rest of the country, we had to make our own wines. At least that is what I'd like to think. HAH! You can either take a 30 minutes to an hour's drive outside Perth to get to the closest wine region or you can drive 3 hours down south and make it a weekend trip.  

The Community - Perth is small.  When one community gets into trouble, you can almost depend on the rest of Perth to rise up to the occasion and help.  With the huge bush fires happening South of Perth, the Yarloop and Waroona community lost almost everything!  The people of Perth got together and help the Yarloop and Waroona community.  I have got friends baking and cooking food.  I have friends collecting school supplies, as school starts in 2 weeks, and the best of all I have seen businesses donating goods and money to help these 2 communities get back on their feet. 

The Traffic - Even in peak hour the traffic is still moving.  Very rare that it gets so bad that we are at a standstill.  The longest I have been stuck in Traffic is 2 hours and that was because of a bush fire happening right next to the road and the road was closed.  That is nothing compared to almost 4 hours that I have heard from major cities like Jakarta or Bangkok.  You can fly to Melbourne quicker. 

Great food - Despite what people say, I do feel like we now have more variety of food choices here in Perth compared to 10 years ago. New restaurants and bars are popping up like mushrooms and I can not wait to try them all! Speaking of great food, M and I tried out this new restaurant on Saturday for our 12 Dates and will be posting a review sometime this week. 

Enough - We have enough of what we need.  We have a few major shopping centres or malls to cater to what we need at the moment. :) What we don't have we can always order on-line.  

The River - Yep. I am grateful for the Swan River and all small rivers that flows to it.  It is because of these rivers, we have beautiful bush lands along with the animals that live in it.  Snakes and all.  

 

Why do I love Perth so much?  

I love it because I have made my family here.

I love it because I can get away from the hustle and bustle of the city in 30 minutes.  

I love it because life is so much easier here.

I love it because I have found my Tribe here.  People who share the same ideals and values.  

I love it because I feel safe and accomplished here. 

And most of all, I love it because it is my home. 

 

Highlights of the week

1. Attended a Happiness workshop at my favourite store and was given a freebie Happiness Journal.
2. Having wonderful colleagues at work.  I love coming to work because of this. 
3. Beauty the Greyhound that I am dogsitting is so laid back I almost forgot that she was even in the house.  

What is the mark of a good marriage?

Second week into the Gratitude Challenge and I am struggling.  This week has been a little trying for me with the heat, it was said to have reached maximum of 42 degrees C (107 F) on Thursday, and also feeling a little lost this week. I had a mild anxiety attack while driving in the car on Thursday but I manage to talk myself out of it. 

Last week, I talked about why we need to always try to be grateful and I had to remind myself of that a couple of times this week. 

This week's challenge is to talk about how grateful you are of your spouse or significant other. I have mixed feelings about this.  I am also not sure how open do I want to be about this as I have been through a lot with my spouse or significant other in 2015 but without giving away too much, I have had my heart broken into pieces. 

We are working through it at the moment.  It is a steep climb to the top but I know we are putting in a lot of effort into trying to make it work. So I guess I am grateful that he is trying to take the initiative to make things work.  

 

GREAT FATHER

M is a great father.  He dotes on the Lil' Tiger.  I know he would do anything, he can, for his little girl.   Their relationship is one of great love.  When he is not around, the Lil' Tiger would constantly ask me when is daddy going to come home? Or where is daddy?  He hardly ever gets angry at his little girl and I am grateful for that. 

 

AS A HUSBAND

When I first met M, he was quick and he was funny.  When we got married, we talked about our wants and our needs as a couple. We were both aligned even though our personalities are the complete polar opposites.  Somehow somewhere amongst all the running around trying to run a household and working, we both have forgotten our core values, our wants and needs as a couple.  

Moving forward, we have both agreed to work on our relationship and I am grateful for that.  I do get text and emails from him telling me how much he loves me and how proud he is of me and my training at the moment.  I always get cuddles from him now and from time to time he will try to hold my hand.  All of which he never use to do and for that I am grateful. 

 

HIGHLIGHTS THIS WEEK

1. Thankful that my little family is safe from the bush fires that is happening South of Perth. 
2. Once again, AIR CONDITIONING.
3. Able to talk myself down from the mild anxiety attack that I had on Thursday. 
4. The Lil' Tiger helping me prep dinner most nights. 

Be awesome...

Let us be grateful to people who make us happy, they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom. - Marcel Proust

I was listening to The School of Greatness on podcast last night, and Lewis was interviewing the Tony Robbins about life and money. One thing that Tony keeps mentioning was "Surround yourself with amazing people. Brilliant, amazing and positive people".

Looking back at what I did this year, I think I have done that. I have surrounded myself with amazing people. People from all walks of life. People from different background. People from different capacity than me.

I am thankful for these people in my life and in particular 3 girls in my life. My Octopuses. ;) They basically have held my hands through everything that I have dealt with within the last 2 years.

I am also thankful for my running family, the Rogue Runners Club Australia and parkrun. Without your encouragements, I don't think I would be able to finish my first Half Marathon this year and I am hoping that you will hold my hands when I do my first Marathon this year.

So much love for me this year. I appreciate everyone who has made an impact in my life this year. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Grateful: A half year Project.

"Because if you're grateful, you're not fearful, and if you're not fearful, you're not violent. If you're grateful, you act out of a sense of enough and not of a sense of scarcity, and you are willing to share. If you are grateful, you are enjoying the differences between people, and you are respectful to everybody,and that changes this power pyramid under which we live."- David Stiendl-Rast in his TED Talk.

If you follow me on Instagram or if you search #felicakesgratitudejar, you would find my project for this year.  Giving thanks no matter how small or significant it may be.  I started this project in January after telling myself to "Let it Go" and see the good in everything, even on a shitty day.  I have come to the conclusion that if I give thanks and be grateful for something, no matter how small, the rest of the shitty day did not even happen because I choose to focus on the good.

If you Google David Stiendl-Rast's TED talk, He talks about how being grateful makes you happy.  He sums it up perfectly and simple.  Give thanks and that is what I want to do for the remaining part of the year.  Give as much thanks as I can.  I will continue my Instagram project but I want to bring it onto the blog as well.  You can only say so much on Instagram, and I do have a lot to say now compared to the beginning part of the year when I said, I am so busy that the blog is taking a little break.  Nope. Not going to happen here. The flood gates have opened and I think I have found my passion.  A positive life. :)  

So at the end of the month, I will share with you what I am thankful for, for the month.  Like I said, it may be small or it may be significant, and I want to put it out there in hopes that I will inspire you to see those little things in your life that you are thankful for.  

Will you join me?