My Life in Mono...

Between God and I

 

This is my simple religion.  There is no need for temples; no need for complicated philosophy. Our own brain, our own heart is our temple; the philosophy is kindness.  - Dalai Lama

I was asked if I believed in God the other day.  He was quite concerned that I have never mentioned I believe in God anywhere on Social Media or in real life.  It got me thinking. Do I?  I do.  I was born into a Christian family.  I was baptised and I do go to church occasionally. Is that enough? It is. I believe there are many forms of believes in God.  Muslim, Christian, Hindu, Jewish. They have the same core belief.  The trust and faith in God. I love religion.  I try to learn a little about different religions.  It makes us understand and hopefully enough to respect each other despite the differences in our believes.  My relationship with God is simple.  Just between myself and Him. That's it.  

 It's been really cold in Perth the last few days.  So cold that my bones froze.  Ok.  I might be over exaggerating but it felt like it.  I went to see the doctors last Friday.  Was diagnosed with a chest infection.  She was surprised I was still up and walking about.  I told her it was one of the perks being a working mum.  You have to do what you have to do. I took Friday, Saturday and Sunday off though.  Resting, sleeping and eating well.  I am feeling much better now.  Thank goodness. 

After a year of starting my business as an ENJO consultant or ENJOpreneur, I have decided to call quits.  It was not an easy decision for me though.  I had to think about my small database of clients that I have accumulated within that year.  It was getting too hard for me to manage my time between being an ENJOpreneur, a mum, a runner and a full time working employee.  I am happy that I have introduced the wonderful world of ENJO to my friends and family though. I have not bought any chemically made detergent to clean my house in over a year and a half. The best thing that came out of this is I have not bought kitchen sponges for a year and a bit because the ENJO sponges are the best! If you have a chance to change something in your home, get those sponges.  I guarantee you that you will not regret it.

Last week, I posted about the stress that I have been dealing with work.  Towards the end of the week, I was told that I was made redundant.  I do have another job lined up though so I don't have to worry about finding a job.  Morale at work has been really low this past few weeks.  Everyone seems to be so lost and most have the "Can't Be Fucked" attitude towards work.  Even I have the case of the CBF.  I am lucky thought that I do have something else lined up.  It's the same job that I have been doing but on a smaller and much lesser scale.  Which in my books in fine by me.  It means that I can go home at the end of the day and not worry about work. 

 Lots of practice this week with writing and pretend play.  We have a blackboard set up in our dining room and school has been in session for the past few days.  Dolls lined up all in a row and in a circle for line time.  Chopsticks have been used to tell the children that an Ice Cream is not everyday food but a treat as it is full of sugar and sugar is not good for you.  What is good for you is an apple.  A big juicy apple.  Writing alphabets and numbers is also one  of her current favourite thing to do.  I was told by her class Directress to practice the proper way of holding a pencil.  Concerned that she might fall back when she gets older if not corrected now.  I asked if me being a leftie would matter because she has picked up that I write with a different hand to hers.  Nothing to be concern too much about.  In fact it was better as my hands will always mirror hers.   It's just that I will not be able to correct her when I have to guide her hands because it will not be comfortable.  Ah well.  That is what M is for I guess.  

We are also learning a lot about bees these days.  She was upset that she accidentally stepped on a bee the other day.  I told her that it was an accident.  We can't help ourselves if it was an accident.  All we can do is say I'm sorry and let it go.  She proceeded to ask me again why bees are important and why we shouldn't step on them if we see them.  We need bees to help us us grow food. of course.  Without them pollinating our flowers and plants, we will not have any fruits or veggies or beautiful flowers to look at.  The world needs more bees and it is our job to make sure that they are safe and continue to pollinate our flowers.  OK Mummy.  I will be careful next time and will tell my friends to not step on them when we see them.  Bless. 

 

 

Staying warm

“Music brings a warm glow to my vision, thawing mind and muscle from their endless wintering.” ― Haruki Murakami  

I am down with the flu this week.  My mind is cloudy.  I tend to get a little short tempered when I am not well.  I can't taste or smell anything.  I tried my very best not to  succumb to using any medication but I lost.  I went to the pharmacist yesterday and begged for cold and flu tabs.  I have been sipping hot green teas and making my own herbal teas.  Ginger, lemon and turmeric with a dash of honey is my current favourite at the moment. Sweet, sour and spicy all at the same time. They say the combination is good for me. It has antibacterial properties.  I just drink it because I love the taste.  

Been dealing with a lot of stress from work at the moment.  So much so that I took a week off because of stress.  Stress leave as my doctor calls it.  I have never taken one in my entire professional life. I was not sleeping well and threw up every morning. My body was telling me to take a break.  It was a break that I welcomed though.  I get to sit down and think things over.  I have a plan.  I hope it works out but you know what they say "When we plan, God laughs".  I just hope not too hard though. I don't do well with anxiety.  It stops me dead in my tracks. I am coping better these days. Surrounding myself with positive thinking people was probably the best thing I have done. That and running.  

Recently I found out that a friend is on a 6 months trip of her dreams.  I don't know her that well.  She was one of my friend's girlfriend.  They have since broken up.  She started a blog journalling her trip and introduced me to 8tracks. Usually I don't listen to indie music.  I am more of a mainstream kinda girl but indie music is not so bad.  I listen to it while writing blog posts or reading.  Perfect as I do not know the lyrics so I won't get distracted.  I do hope said friend is having one hell of a time.  Maybe one day, if I am allowed to share her blog, I will post it here.  For now, I just want to keep it to myself. 

We are thinking of gardening again this spring. I miss the garden so much. After a year's hiatus and neglect, we have decided that we need to get back to doing what we love.  Being outdoors, playing with dirt and water, harvesting our hard work and teaching the little one all everything we know about gardening.  We are also hoping to get our worm farm working again. I know M miss watering the plants early in the morning before work.  He use to do it every single morning without fail. Except for rainy days of course. Wish we could have chickens.  It would be so awesome to have fresh eggs as well. Didn't really think of that when we bought this place.  We do what we can. For now, we can garden. 

Fortnightly trips to the library is a must now. She just loves the place. The books, the puzzles, the quietness.  We spend 1/2 an hour perusing every single shelf and every single cubby hole of books. Each time I hear, "This is nice" or "I have not seen this one before". Every time we go, it's 2 puzzles and 2 books we check out.  She has her own library card and is now quite good at checking out items at the self check out counter. Here is to hoping that her love for books and the library last a long time. 

Lost

Pretty much sums up where I am in life at the moment.  Lost.  I have gone down the rabbit hole and I am slowly trying to climb back up.  I hate the feeling and I do acknowledge that it is necessary for me to grow. 

I realised my flaw from last year's plan.  I forgot to make time to sit down and do what I use to love doing.  Reading and writing on the blog and I miss it a lot.  My plan is to make time each week to sit and read, to find inspiration, and to write, hopefully to give inspiration. 

I am also hoping to journal my year this year in terms of parenting, cooking, running and in my relationship.  Last year, I concentrated on ME, this year, I will am going to make an effort to concentrate on my tiny family. I will be as honest and open as I can.  Hopefully I can look back at the end of this year and see progress. :) 

 

Learning: Anger Issue

For every minute you remain angry, you five up sixty seconds of peace of mind - Ralph Waldo Emerson

On Facebook the other day, a someone on my timeline made a negative comment on a post. I won't go into it but I felt like it was a personal attack eventhough it was not. It was just a comment aimed at the topic in general. What she said really bothered me and I was not in a very good mood.  I was furious! How dare she said something like that?  One part of my brain told me that I should say something and tell her what I think and the other part of me basically said " don't be a dick".

I spoke about assessing and acknowledging my feelings the other day, and I had to literally tell myself to STOP, BREATHE and LET GO. It's hard for me to do this because I always think that it is either a personal attack on me or on something that I love.  I am learning that sometimes, I just need to let it be.  I can not control what people say or think and it is not a personal attack on me or what I believe in. 

I asked myself a few questions to calm myself down from being so angry. 

Why am I so angry?  Because she made a negative comment about something that I love and I am passionate about.

Can I do something about it?  Yes and No.  Yes, I can block her comments so that I no longer see what she has to say. No, because that is how she feels about it.

Is it personally attacking you?  No.  She was just making a general comment about the situation.

So why are you worked up? I am not sure.  Maybe it's because I felt like she should behaved better because she is much older than me and has more experience in life.  Just because she doesn't believe in it doesn't mean that she has to impose that on other people.

How can you let it go? I can't change her.  It is how she is, as long as she doesn't personally attack me or my family then, there is nothing to be so worked up for.

After scribbling down what I felt in my little notebook, I felt a little bit better.  I felt like the anger that was sitting heavily on my chest has lifted and I could breathe again.  This is a new skill for me.  Learning how to deal with anger and letting it go.  Babysteps but I am getting there.

I do like the person that I am becoming though.  Much calmer and less stressed.  Everything else seems small and I am not "sweating the small stuff"