My Life in Mono...

Hello! It's Me...

Hello friends. :)  

It has been a while I know.  A lot has happened in the last 4 months and if you have been following me on Instagram and Facebook, you would have a sneaky peek.  

I am currently trying to re-brand my blog as I realised that my life has certainly changed its course and so will my blog.  I hope you will still be with me as I will try a couple of format here and there.  Please feel free to give me feed back as well. 

So starting in August, I have new content all ready to go along with a couple of new format that I am testing. I will have a blog post twice a week and a special one on the first of every month. 

I am also looking forward to working with some brands (big and small).  If you happen to read my blog and owns a brand or happen to know someone who owns one, please send me an email. 

YEAY! 

Learning how to set goals

I spent a good part of the morning today at a Goals Setting workshop hosted by Kikki K.  I went to one of their Happiness one in January and enjoyed it very much.  The other reason that I love going to their workshop is, I get to come home with one of their beautiful journals. :) 

Helle, who conducted this workshop is amazing and inspirational.  I can relate so much with her when she told us a little about her life. When she was younger, she suffered from Anxiety and Depression and how she conquered it was pretty amazing.  I am always amazed by people who have overcome Depression.  They are my true heroes. 

I always come out from workshops or seminars like this inspired and gearing to go.  My only downfall is, I lack the motivation to keep it going.  Helle gave me tools today to help me set my goals and reach them.  I am capable of achieving my goals and I do have the tools to achieve it.  So there is really no reason why I always lose steam before I achieve them right?  Well.... not really...

I conclude that I have a couple of pitfalls:-

• I do not write them down as specific as I can.  We learnt how to use the SMART way, more on that in another post once I learn as much as I can about it. 
• Self doubt.  Yep. I sure do know this one by heart. I spoke about how I am slowly learning how to love myself here. 
• And lastly, procrastination.  YEP.  I am a big procrastinator.  I plan and plan and plan and I sometimes don't end up doing what I plan to do because I procrastinate. 

We were asked at the workshop "What our core values are?" and write them down.  There was a sheet with a list of words that represents core values.  The ones that jumped out at me today were Learning/Teaching, Nature and Balance. From your core values, you can set your goals up so there are less chances of you failing because it correlates to your core values.

There are some bits and pieces that I would like to note down and share:-

• Helle talked about the Rock Pebbles and Sand way to prioritise.  I still need to read and learn more about this method.
• Every elite athlete will need to physically and mentally rehearse.
• What you focus on, grows.  
• If it lights you up, you dont need anyone's approval 
• Helle introduced me to an inspirational speaker called Louise Hay.  I am already pinning her affirmations on Pinterest and also will be sharing her affirmations on my Facebook page. 

I am still learning so I am still trying to tweak my process.  If you have anything to share, please share them with me here or on my Facebook page. :)

 

Highlights of the week

1. Autumn is finally here! Cooler days and nights means that I can save on electricity. HA!
2. The Long Weekend. This means that I can experiment more on meal prep for the week. 
3. Discovering Smoothie bowls.  If you follow me on Facebook, Instagram or Pinterest, you will see that I have been pinning, sharing and taking photos of delicious smoothie bowls. 

Why we need friends?

Roy and I met when we were 11 years old.  We were in different classes but we knew each other.  It was at a time when everything was awkward. 

You remember.  Those, "why am I breaking out" days.  Those, "why am I angry all the time" days.  Those, "why am I bleeding down there" days.  Those days where everyone is telling you that anything is possible, yet, the same people are telling you, you shouldn't be doing that, days.  Those days where you kinda like boys, BUT, you are still scared that they might give you cooties. HAHA!  AH... those pre pubescent days.  

Roy and I became best friends when we were 14.  We were prefects in our school and we always try to work our favourite shifts together. Manning the school gates.  I remember we would sit in the little hut in front of the gate and just talk about the latest music videos we have seen and which teacher is giving us a hard time, it was almost every teacher but one.  He would help me out with homework, and I would help him out with girl problems.  

We were separated when I moved to a different city.  We kept in touch though through letters.  YES, SNAIL MAIL! He would tell me what the latest gossip would be in the old school and I would complain that my new school sucks and the people sucks. A few years later, he moved to my city to further his studies.  My task, at the beginning of every term,  was to pick him up from the airport and drive 1 hour and drop him off at his university.  His task was to pay me in the form of his late mother's pineapple tarts, for my "troubles".  This went on for a couple of years and then, I moved again.  This time to Perth. 

We were bro-mates, soul sisters, the bestest friend of all time.  We could read each other's mind just from a look. Even today, 4,045kms apart (yes, I googled that), we can still sense when either of us are in distress. It is like we are linked in some sort of cosmic energy, wave length type thing.  We would go without talking to each other for days and even months and then suddenly, one random text from him would appear saying that he can sense that I am in trouble, and I would be.  I don't know if it is a coincidence, but that didn't happen just the one time.  It happens ALL THE TIME.  When I was going through rough times with my marriage, I would get a text massage from Roy asking me if I am ok.  We would always comment on how eerie our connections because it seems like he has a crystal ball and is spying into my life and vice versa. 

Roy, if you are reading this, and I know you do because I told you to, I am grateful that you are in my life.  I am grateful that you were there for those awkward stages in life.  I am grateful that you knew when times were bad and called me to check up and I am grateful that you gave me space to get on with my life.  I am grateful that for our 25 years of friendship through thick and thin.  I am grateful that we can prove to people that it is completely ok for a man and and woman to be best friends and nothing more than that.   Thank you my friend.  Here is to the next 25 years of being best friends. 

 

Highlights of the week

1. My little girl started her formal schooling and she is coping so well. 
2. Air conditioning and cold water.
3. Not buying lunch 3 weeks in a row. Woohoo! 

Why I love myself

How many of us here are guilty of negative self talk and Self Doubt?  I am not a stranger to it. There was a point in time that the conversations in my head towards myself, is a negative one.  

"Look at your hair! It's so frizzy and unmanageable!"

"You can't fit into that dress! You have layers of fat around you"

"Why bother with make up? It makes you look weird"

"No wonder his eyes wanders, look at you! So unkept"

Yep! These are actual conversations I have had the pleasure of having with my own self. So much fun to be in my head sometimes. I spoke about negative self talk two years ago as well. This is an issue that I am still working on.  It is hard when you have had 30 odd years of practice.  

I have had the pleasure this week to discover a podcast called The Mindful Kind by Rachael Kable. In episode 8 she talks about negative self talk and how to overcome that.  She had an exercise where you sit with a pen and paper and set 5 minutes aside and start writing about what you think about yourself.  The negatives and the positives, no judgement.  I was surprised to see how much negative was there on the paper. She mentioned that at the end of the day, they are just thoughts.  They are usually and most probably not true. 

This week's gratitude challenge is all about self love.  Some may think that it is vain to love yourself, but as Mama Ru said, "If you don't love yourself, how in the hell are you gonna love somebody else!"

So, I am starting out small. :)  I am listing 5 points on WHY I LOVE MYSELF. 

I AM LOYAL.  They say it has something to do with my star sign, I am a Taurus by the way, that I am fiercely loyal.  Once I call you a friend, there isn't much that you can do to shake me off.  

I AM ALWAYS ON TIME. If you tell me to be at the beach by 2pm, I will be at the beach by 2pm.  I am almost never late unless there is a legitimate reason. Even then, I would have told you in advance that I am going to be late. :) 

I AM PASSIONATE. When I set my mind to doing something, I do it with passion.  Nothing can stop me in my tracks.  I am passionate about equal opportunities, as in gender equality and marriage equality, I am passionate about motherhood, from breastfeeding to bottle feeding and I am passionate about my family. 

I AM LOVING.  I love.  I love animals, I love my family and I love my close friends.  When I love, I care very deeply about the person and I would go the extra mile and take a bullet for them.  

I AM ENOUGH. I am enough.  I am enough as I am.  Sure I want and need to improve in some aspects of my life but at the moment, right this minute, I am enough.  I give enough and I receive enough.  

This is really a foreign concept to me.  Self love is not one that I am use to.  It is a little hard for me to replace Self Love with Self Doubt. Self Doubt seems to be so easy to do and the first thing that jumps in front in my head. I am working on it.  Hopefully by the end of this challenge, Self Love will finally replace Self Doubt. 

 Highlights of the week

1. All the rain that we have been getting.   
2. Breakfast cooked for me on Sunday morning. 
3. I did not buy lunch for the whole week! WOOHOO! 

Time for a check up

 

Summer is well and truly here.  Perfect beach weather if you ask me.  We have been outdoors most of the time this summer.  Life has been a little up and down since September.  I won't go much into personal details but it was definitely life altering.  I has made me look at how I value relationships with my husband, daughter, family and friends.  My anxiety has also rear it's ugly head a couple of times since September and I have been trying to manage it to keep it at bay.  Hence why I turn to nature by being outdoors and running a lot. 

Running.  I have decided to run my first Marathon in 2016.  Training so far has been going smoothly.  I wake up early every morning to get a run in before the day heats up and before everyone else hogs the running path. :)  You'd be surprised to see how many people are already out there running and cycling! I am not a morning person but I have learnt how to be one.  Mondays and Fridays are rest days for me and boy owh boy do I look forward to them.  I have a love hate relationship with running to be honest but mostly, I love it once I am out the door and pounding the pavement. 

My little girl will be starting school next year.  I have mixed feelings about it.  One side of me is happy because she has reached another important milestone in life.  I don't have to fork out expensive daycare fees any more.  The other side of me is sad because she is not a little girl any more.  She will be a school age child.  She will have more responsibilities in life.  She will start her formal education that will be her foundation to her life.  I am sad of letting her go into the big world but I know that she is ready.  She is ready to tackle what ever life throws at her and if she feels like she can not handle it, I will be there to hold her hand and give her a cuddle. 

How was your Christmas?  We had a quiet one this year.  One that we spent by the river.  One where we stuffed our bellies with good food and good wine. New Years will be something similar.  Most probably we will be celebrating it by the same river again and most probably with the same food and maybe a different type of wine. :)  Most probably I would start out my day with a run with some friends and then come home for a snooze.  

Every year I look back to see what I set out three things I want to achieve in the year.   2015 was the year I did not do one hence my life was a little all over the place.   So for the next year, I have set out three things I want to accomplished. 

Run a full marathon.  It has been on my bucket list for at least 3 years now and some of my running buddies have started to ask me if I am still going to do it.  As mentioned above, I have started my training for my inaugural race in April at the Bunbury 3 Waters dace so this will be the first goal on my list to be struck off.   Hopefully I am able to do it. I am scared but I know I am ready.  

Practice Gratitude ( I will start my 52 weeks of Gratitude on the blog).  This year, I realised that to get my mental health in check, I had to force myself to seek 3 things in my day that I am thankful for.  Some days it was very very hard and some days super easy.  So for 2016, I am going to practice Gratitude as they say that it is the foundation of happiness.  Instead of complaining about what is wrong with the day, I will try my best to give thanks. 

12 Dates.  This is something that I am going to work with my husband.  We have let our work and busyness take over our lives that we fail to connect and have been neglecting our relationship.  Hence this year we have been fighting and arguing a lot this year.  So once a month for 12 months, we will make time for ourselves sans the Lil' Tiger, and go out on dates.  It doesn't have to be at a fancy restaurant but we have to make it a point to connect and build our relationship once again. 

Blog wise, I will try to keep it as up to date as I can BUT I am very active on Instagram and my Facebook Page.  So please follow me on those 2 social media pages.  

Now, go forth and have a great NEW YEAR! 

New Beginnings

"The future is not some place we are going, but one we are creating. The paths are not to be found, but made." - John Schaar

Two months have gone by since I last wrote.  A lot of things have happened since then.  I got a new job, my gorgeous little niece was born and lots of food have been consumed.  I learnt a lot in that short amount of time.  Learning to take things slow and not be too hard on myself.  Learning to let things go, again, and not take things for granted.  Learning to not take myself too seriously and just step back and let things unfold.  It is still an on going process.  Some days I am good, some days I don't want to get out of bed. Mostly good.  Most days I hop out of bed. 

Spring is finally here.  I think Pixel has been hanging out for a warm day.  The poor pup have been in jumpers all winter long and would probably need a summer hair cut soon.  Spring also means that I am outdoors a little more. I feel so good to be able to run outdoors again after a winter of hibernation.  It feels great that the days is a little longer and that it is not dark when I go pick up my little one after work.   

Between God and I

 

This is my simple religion.  There is no need for temples; no need for complicated philosophy. Our own brain, our own heart is our temple; the philosophy is kindness.  - Dalai Lama

I was asked if I believed in God the other day.  He was quite concerned that I have never mentioned I believe in God anywhere on Social Media or in real life.  It got me thinking. Do I?  I do.  I was born into a Christian family.  I was baptised and I do go to church occasionally. Is that enough? It is. I believe there are many forms of believes in God.  Muslim, Christian, Hindu, Jewish. They have the same core belief.  The trust and faith in God. I love religion.  I try to learn a little about different religions.  It makes us understand and hopefully enough to respect each other despite the differences in our believes.  My relationship with God is simple.  Just between myself and Him. That's it.  

 It's been really cold in Perth the last few days.  So cold that my bones froze.  Ok.  I might be over exaggerating but it felt like it.  I went to see the doctors last Friday.  Was diagnosed with a chest infection.  She was surprised I was still up and walking about.  I told her it was one of the perks being a working mum.  You have to do what you have to do. I took Friday, Saturday and Sunday off though.  Resting, sleeping and eating well.  I am feeling much better now.  Thank goodness. 

After a year of starting my business as an ENJO consultant or ENJOpreneur, I have decided to call quits.  It was not an easy decision for me though.  I had to think about my small database of clients that I have accumulated within that year.  It was getting too hard for me to manage my time between being an ENJOpreneur, a mum, a runner and a full time working employee.  I am happy that I have introduced the wonderful world of ENJO to my friends and family though. I have not bought any chemically made detergent to clean my house in over a year and a half. The best thing that came out of this is I have not bought kitchen sponges for a year and a bit because the ENJO sponges are the best! If you have a chance to change something in your home, get those sponges.  I guarantee you that you will not regret it.

Last week, I posted about the stress that I have been dealing with work.  Towards the end of the week, I was told that I was made redundant.  I do have another job lined up though so I don't have to worry about finding a job.  Morale at work has been really low this past few weeks.  Everyone seems to be so lost and most have the "Can't Be Fucked" attitude towards work.  Even I have the case of the CBF.  I am lucky thought that I do have something else lined up.  It's the same job that I have been doing but on a smaller and much lesser scale.  Which in my books in fine by me.  It means that I can go home at the end of the day and not worry about work. 

 Lots of practice this week with writing and pretend play.  We have a blackboard set up in our dining room and school has been in session for the past few days.  Dolls lined up all in a row and in a circle for line time.  Chopsticks have been used to tell the children that an Ice Cream is not everyday food but a treat as it is full of sugar and sugar is not good for you.  What is good for you is an apple.  A big juicy apple.  Writing alphabets and numbers is also one  of her current favourite thing to do.  I was told by her class Directress to practice the proper way of holding a pencil.  Concerned that she might fall back when she gets older if not corrected now.  I asked if me being a leftie would matter because she has picked up that I write with a different hand to hers.  Nothing to be concern too much about.  In fact it was better as my hands will always mirror hers.   It's just that I will not be able to correct her when I have to guide her hands because it will not be comfortable.  Ah well.  That is what M is for I guess.  

We are also learning a lot about bees these days.  She was upset that she accidentally stepped on a bee the other day.  I told her that it was an accident.  We can't help ourselves if it was an accident.  All we can do is say I'm sorry and let it go.  She proceeded to ask me again why bees are important and why we shouldn't step on them if we see them.  We need bees to help us us grow food. of course.  Without them pollinating our flowers and plants, we will not have any fruits or veggies or beautiful flowers to look at.  The world needs more bees and it is our job to make sure that they are safe and continue to pollinate our flowers.  OK Mummy.  I will be careful next time and will tell my friends to not step on them when we see them.  Bless. 

 

 

Staying warm

“Music brings a warm glow to my vision, thawing mind and muscle from their endless wintering.” ― Haruki Murakami  

I am down with the flu this week.  My mind is cloudy.  I tend to get a little short tempered when I am not well.  I can't taste or smell anything.  I tried my very best not to  succumb to using any medication but I lost.  I went to the pharmacist yesterday and begged for cold and flu tabs.  I have been sipping hot green teas and making my own herbal teas.  Ginger, lemon and turmeric with a dash of honey is my current favourite at the moment. Sweet, sour and spicy all at the same time. They say the combination is good for me. It has antibacterial properties.  I just drink it because I love the taste.  

Been dealing with a lot of stress from work at the moment.  So much so that I took a week off because of stress.  Stress leave as my doctor calls it.  I have never taken one in my entire professional life. I was not sleeping well and threw up every morning. My body was telling me to take a break.  It was a break that I welcomed though.  I get to sit down and think things over.  I have a plan.  I hope it works out but you know what they say "When we plan, God laughs".  I just hope not too hard though. I don't do well with anxiety.  It stops me dead in my tracks. I am coping better these days. Surrounding myself with positive thinking people was probably the best thing I have done. That and running.  

Recently I found out that a friend is on a 6 months trip of her dreams.  I don't know her that well.  She was one of my friend's girlfriend.  They have since broken up.  She started a blog journalling her trip and introduced me to 8tracks. Usually I don't listen to indie music.  I am more of a mainstream kinda girl but indie music is not so bad.  I listen to it while writing blog posts or reading.  Perfect as I do not know the lyrics so I won't get distracted.  I do hope said friend is having one hell of a time.  Maybe one day, if I am allowed to share her blog, I will post it here.  For now, I just want to keep it to myself. 

We are thinking of gardening again this spring. I miss the garden so much. After a year's hiatus and neglect, we have decided that we need to get back to doing what we love.  Being outdoors, playing with dirt and water, harvesting our hard work and teaching the little one all everything we know about gardening.  We are also hoping to get our worm farm working again. I know M miss watering the plants early in the morning before work.  He use to do it every single morning without fail. Except for rainy days of course. Wish we could have chickens.  It would be so awesome to have fresh eggs as well. Didn't really think of that when we bought this place.  We do what we can. For now, we can garden. 

Fortnightly trips to the library is a must now. She just loves the place. The books, the puzzles, the quietness.  We spend 1/2 an hour perusing every single shelf and every single cubby hole of books. Each time I hear, "This is nice" or "I have not seen this one before". Every time we go, it's 2 puzzles and 2 books we check out.  She has her own library card and is now quite good at checking out items at the self check out counter. Here is to hoping that her love for books and the library last a long time. 

Learning: Anger Issue

For every minute you remain angry, you five up sixty seconds of peace of mind - Ralph Waldo Emerson

On Facebook the other day, a someone on my timeline made a negative comment on a post. I won't go into it but I felt like it was a personal attack eventhough it was not. It was just a comment aimed at the topic in general. What she said really bothered me and I was not in a very good mood.  I was furious! How dare she said something like that?  One part of my brain told me that I should say something and tell her what I think and the other part of me basically said " don't be a dick".

I spoke about assessing and acknowledging my feelings the other day, and I had to literally tell myself to STOP, BREATHE and LET GO. It's hard for me to do this because I always think that it is either a personal attack on me or on something that I love.  I am learning that sometimes, I just need to let it be.  I can not control what people say or think and it is not a personal attack on me or what I believe in. 

I asked myself a few questions to calm myself down from being so angry. 

Why am I so angry?  Because she made a negative comment about something that I love and I am passionate about.

Can I do something about it?  Yes and No.  Yes, I can block her comments so that I no longer see what she has to say. No, because that is how she feels about it.

Is it personally attacking you?  No.  She was just making a general comment about the situation.

So why are you worked up? I am not sure.  Maybe it's because I felt like she should behaved better because she is much older than me and has more experience in life.  Just because she doesn't believe in it doesn't mean that she has to impose that on other people.

How can you let it go? I can't change her.  It is how she is, as long as she doesn't personally attack me or my family then, there is nothing to be so worked up for.

After scribbling down what I felt in my little notebook, I felt a little bit better.  I felt like the anger that was sitting heavily on my chest has lifted and I could breathe again.  This is a new skill for me.  Learning how to deal with anger and letting it go.  Babysteps but I am getting there.

I do like the person that I am becoming though.  Much calmer and less stressed.  Everything else seems small and I am not "sweating the small stuff" 

 

Let it go: Worries

I posted the above picture on Instagram yesterday. Those close to me would know that I worry a lot.  Sometimes, I feel paralysed by fear and I don't really want to get out of bed. My mind is a really scary place sometimes.  I feel like there are 50 of us living in that tiny space alone.  And no, I am not schizophrenic or anything, not that I know.

Most of the time, these voices are positive.  They yell encouragements and support, but sometimes, they tell me that things aren't ok.  "What if this? What if that?" "Do you really thing you should be doing that?"  "Owh my goodness, all those people dying. What if that was you?".  Yep. It's a big party in my head.

I spoke to Liz last week about these voices in my head and she asked me, have any of my worries ever come true? I said "No.  Not really.  They are just thoughts in my head. "  Then she said something that spooked me a little.  "What you think, you become.  What you feel, you attract and what you imagine you create," so why do it?  Why worry about things that would never come true?  Why acknowledge thoughts that doesn't benefit you in any way?

I don't know why I do this to myself though BUT I am changing my ways. What I am doing at the moment is writing down in my little notebook that I carry around with me and write down what is worrying me at that very moment.  That way, I acknowledge the thought and it no longer occupy my brain.  It's the same thing as decluttering but for your mind.  Do I have to go back and read these thoughts? Absolutely not. 

Now, I focus my thoughts on things that I can do.  Things that I am good at and things I know that can benefit me. I will not let worry rule my day or emotions for the day.  If I feel overwhelmed by it, I go out for a run and clear my head. I focus all my energy in finding out ways to solve my problems and if it is something that I can't solve, then I let it go because I can't do anything about it.

Very Zen like no? But, it really works.   

Liz sent me this photo for support.  I actually said this to her at the end of our session.  She asked me what I would say if I was faced with my life worries.  "Get to the next tree" is usually what I say when I am running.  I tell myself to run to the next tree and the next and the next.  It's a great metaphor for life as well.