I would like to introduce Perth Wife to the MiLM blog. I know Perth Wife through Twitter and I absolutely love they way she writes. She has a great sense of humour and at the same time has this "cut the crap" honesty that I like.
Today, she will be sharing her tips on Combining Finances after a marriage. I think it is really important to discuss with your partner about this as it can get messy at times.
Combining Finances - The Good, The Bad and The Ugly by Perth Wife
Firstly, Husband and I didn't combine our bank accounts until about a year after we were married. We had meant to do it earlier, but what with getting over the paperwork overdose that comes three seconds after you get married, then the honeymoon, then the gift opening, then the thank you cards that needed to be sent, then a bunch of other uninteresting crap and the resuming of normal life, combining bank accounts just seemed to get forgotten about. Then occasionally (usually once a month when our separate bank statements from our separate banks arrived in the letterbox) one of us would murmur, "We really should sort this out and combine everything. It'll be easier."
So one day, we did. It was a very bland afternoon visiting a few different banks. But since going from my own bank account to one I have to share, this is what I've learnt:
The Good
Husband is a nerd who pays all of our bills. On time. Every time! I no longer have to worry about overdue fees on my phone bill (or paying interest on my credit card). I also don't have to spend time going through envelopes, logging onto our online banking system, making sure there's enough money in our everyday account for the mortgage payment to be paid before moving a large chunk into our savings account. It's bliss!
The Bad
It doesn't really feel like "my" money. I know, I know - it's our money. But because I'm a traditional housewife who doesn't do any form of paid work, I often get the guilts about spending money. Even on stupid things like an expensive grocery shop where I bought bulk packs of meat and seafood to freeze down. I feel the need to apologise for spending a lot, even though the next month of grocery shopping will be quite cheap whilst we munch our way through the kilograms of lamb, beef or prawns I bought previously. When I've mentioned this to Husband, he looks at me like I've suddenly just started talking Farsi. "It's food, we're eating it, it's not like you went out and bought a two kilo's of diced diamonds to freeze down and turn into casseroles."
And let's not even start about the money I spend on a few little hobbies of mine! I always feel the need to ask permission before I buy anything. Again, Husband just says, "As long as you get enjoyment out of it, use it and it doesn't go to waste, then go ahead. And stop asking permission. It's OUR money!"
Yes dear, all right - OUR money.....
The Ugly
When I had my own bank account, I could slip the occasional expensive purchase past Husband. Nowadays, he sees everything - our damn bank account lists everything in chronological order as soon as he opens up the online account.
Admittedly, I'm a pretty reasonable person. But occasionally, I splash out. $650 on a pair of shoes? Why not - they were on sale! In a classic style that I'll wear for years! (And I do actually mean that - I have an awesome, and expensive, pair of boots that I've so far had for eight years that still look great.) But every time Husband sees a purchase that exceeds $500 for something he doesn't deem necessary or worthy or useful (such as food or the aforementioned hobbies), he has a minor coronary event. When I had my own bank account, I could smuggle these rare purchases into my wardrobe and tell a small fib about how much it cost. These days, it's impossible.
But at the end of the day, combining bank accounts has made life easier and simpler. We both know where we stand financially rather than each having to talk about how our separate bank accounts are doing financially and who should pay the electricity bill this quarter because the mortgage and phone bill is coming out of the others account. It's no longer fiddly, or difficult. All our money is there in one spot. And all I have to do is remember to save up physical money and pay in cash if I want to make a large purchase on a handbag - it wouldn't do to give Husband a heart attack because then I'd have to pay all the bills myself. And that's, frankly, boring.
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