My Life in Mono...

Money Talk

I think from time to time, I would like to share my thoughts on money and expenses. I think earning an income and how you spend that income is one of the most important things in your adult life. Whether you have a combined income or each have a separate one, I think it is important to step back and assess the health of your credit.

In my family, M and I both earn an income and we share our finances. Although we are married and share everything in life, we split most of the things we pay for i.e the mortgage, child care and etc right down the middle. Now this works for us and by no means that I am suggesting that it works for others. We have been doing this since we both started our relationship and we are both comfortable with it. It also makes us accountable for huge things like the Mortgage and Child Care. These are the two biggest thing that we cannot afford to lose.

From time to time, I go online and get my credit checked. There are a lot of credit checkers  out there on the internet. All you have to do is google them. Lifehacker has a great tip on how you can get a credit check and why you should do it from time to time. . Why do I do it? I do it because it is a mental note for me to get myself in check. This is a reminder so that I do not go over in spending and living within my means. A credit check is also a good way to know how your finances are and where it is so that when you go and borrow money from the bank, either for a mortgage for the home or a car loan or to get a credit card, you know where you stand and it will make it easier for you to approach banks.

I usually tell people that M is the accountant in our household and he is. He has a spreadsheet of every big spending that he does and what goes in and out of his expenses and I think it's a good idea to have something like that just to have a look on your everyday expenses as well. I am beginning to do the same thing. I just need to look for the right app for my iPhone.

Woud you like to share your tips on finances with me and my readers?

Blog crush: The Glow

I am always inspired by stylish moms and The Glow is where I go to get my fix. They feature inspiring and stylish moms from the US. It is just simply amazing I love all the photos on the blog and this is one of my favourite. 

It's a photo of Zoe Buckman and her daughter Cleo. Who is Zoe Buckman? Well she is married to a David Schwimmer a.k.a Ross Gellar. 

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Review: Dove Nutri-Oil Serum

Ask anyone who has met me before and see if they have seen me with my hair down. I bet you only one or two will say that they have seen me with my hair down. I very rarely have my hair down unless I have been to the salon to get my hair done for a special occasion. I usually have it in a pony tail or in a bun. I have it in a bun because 1. I can't be bothered styling it and 2. I have VERY VERY DRY ends. The dry ends reminds me of dried out Twigs in the middle of winter or summer. 

I was given the opportunity to try the Dove Nutri-Oil Serum. Truth be told,  I was a little bit skeptical at first because I have tried other products out there and it doesn't really work. Nothing works for my super dry hair. 

After a week of using it every day and night, I have to say, my hair has improved quite a bit. It is now more manageable and less "twiggy" . I am actually impressed by it. I was a little bit worried that because it is a sort of OIL, if I apply it to my hair, it will make my hair look oily but it doesn't. Dove Nutri-Oil Serum is actually very light and goes on pretty easily. 

With beauty products, I usually buy them fragrance free because after a while, the smell from the product will irritate my super sensitive nose but not for the Dove Nutri-Oil Serum though. Although it has a nice smell to it, it is not too over powering that it will give me a headache and that earns a huge TICK from me. 

All in all, I absolutely love this product and I have started recommending it to my friends and family. It's not too expensive to buy and you can find it either at your local supermarket or chemist. 

Dove Nutri-Oil Serum, you deserve a YEAY! from me for making my hair less "Twiggy". Now I can wear my hair down most days! 

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*All reviews are based on my opinions. No payments were offered or received. This review is part of Product Talk by Nuffnang

 

The Working Mum Paradox...

One of the most favourite topic to talk about on this blog is finding the balance between being a mother and being a full time employee. I know I can go on and on about this topic and probably say the same thing over and over again in some of my posts but, I do believe that most working mothers are often ridiculed and judged harshly by society.  

Do not get me wrong though. I have nothing but respect for the Stay at Home Mothers. I know that they do not just sit at home or go out for coffee or just sit in front of the TV. Owh no. My mother was a stay at home mum and from experience, watching her do EVERY THING while we were at school and dad was at work, I am surprised she even had the time to READ! Yes, she reads for pleasure. She reads novels from the library all the time. Although I have only experienced being a stay at home mum for a period of 6 months, I know how hard it is to get things done and I only had one child. Mum had 3!

Recently I read an article on Dailylife.com.au about leaving work at 5.30pm to go home to your child and prepare dinner and spend time with your child. . The COO of Facebook, yep Facebook, Sheryl Sandberg, has come out in public saying that she leaves work at 5.30pm on the dot every day just so that she would be in time to reach home and spend time with her kids. 

This article makes a lot of sense to me and resonates what I believe clearly. It was my decision to go back to work. It was actually not a hard decision to make, if I am being honest. We needed the money to live. Living in the 13th most expensive City to live in. Why am I living here again? It would be foolish of me to tell myself that "Yes, we can live in a single income household and pay for the car and mortgage and our daughter's education fund and etc". I know we couldn't afford to do so. I also wanted to contribute towards our family finances. I want to have a say in what we can and cannot afford. Like getting a second car for example, although a good idea to have but not essential at the moment. 

Finding the balance of a working life and being a working mother is a constant battle. Trying to meet deadline at work and be on time to catch that train home so that I can have the last few waking moments with my daughter is always a struggle. Some times I make it home in time, some times I don't and those times that I don't, I feel really guilty. On times that I do make it home on time, I cherish those moments and enjoy every minute of it.

Mother's guilt. Yes. This one plays a big role in my life. You have heard of the Jewish Mothers' guilt and how powerful it is that it can make a grown man tear down walls for his Jewish mother, this kind of Mother's guilt is almost the same but different. This is the guilt of the epic kind. The "Leaving your child at day care for others to care for them" guilt. The "Why would you want to have kids, when you let others take care of your kids for you" guilt. I try not to think about it all the time and think about why I am going to work. I am doing it because I want to be able to provide them with the best in their future. I want my children to be able to live comfortably and provide them with everything that they need, and maybe sometimes wants.

I feel like I am going on and on and explaining myself to people out there on why I decided to go back to work after having a child. I know I don't have to. I know I don't have to explain myself to anyone but myself. I think it's the Mother's Guilt in me constantly trying to question my decisions and believes. I also think it's the constant comments and judgements that I get when I tell people "Yes. I am back at work full time". I know I can never win. 

What do you think? 

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Today's Fav...

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I May Be Busy but I’m Enjoying Life as Is by Silly Mummy

This round's The Working Mum series is from Rhonda of Silly Mummy. She shares her life as a full time working mum like me. 

I’m a married mum and I work 30 hours a week now since my son started kindergarten in February. I also study part time one afternoon per week and I do my assignments after he has gone to bed. I appreciate all the support that my husband gives: we share the housework load, the dropping off/picking up schedule and taking our son to therapy sessions.

Life is busy for us but we manage to organise it so that nothing falls through the cracks. We each know what our responsibilities are and we do our best to commit to them. So things are going well so far and we’re all getting what we need. I say need because we’ve had to put needs before wants and wishes when we decided to start a family.

We are not poor but we’re not rich. We have enough to live and enjoy life. We just cannot afford, right now, to build or buy a house (if that’s really what we want to do, but that’s a different story on its own), buy luxurious items and go on expensive holidays.

And so we rent a house, have one car and save for at least one holiday per year. We don’t have loans or mortgages. We pay off our credit cards 100% monthly and for a reasonable fee we manage to send our son to one of the top schools in the region. Maybe once I finish my studies and once I find a better paying part time job we can then think about having another baby.

For a busy couple I think our home is pretty much neat. I hate mess but when I’m too tired I tend to leave things where they don’t belong. When lucky enough to catch a boost of energy I quickly put things away and do a little dusting late at night before bed. I figured if I do a little each night I can manage to have a clean house all week without spending hours cleaning on the weekend.

Weekends are kept for grocery shopping and hanging out with people. We avoid booking our Sundays, and so everything tends to happen on Saturdays. Sundays are left for events we can’t get out of, such as christenings, birthdays and a monthly roast with the in-laws. This seems to work out very well and my husband and I can spend time with our son on the free Sundays.

Most activities happen close to home. Our son is 4 and does not fuss much about where we go but more about how much he can see, explore and do where we go. That’s because all week he’s at school or day-care, inside fences. So we spend most of our Sundays in the outdoors and let him go running or cycling around the parks and playgrounds.

Sometimes we have mum and son or dad and son afternoons. So my husband and I can spend one-on-one time with him. This is important to us because he needs to learn more about each parent separately and understand that we’re individuals and not Siamese twins, if you know what I mean? He gets to learn what each of us like to do, what we’re into and so forth. For example, with me we’ll do a lot of acting and making funny faces and voices, and sometimes gardening (mostly pulling weeds). With his father he explores the galaxies and stars, watches sci-fi movies and cartoons, and also plays car chases.

We do not hire babysitters. We are offered help from my husband’s parents and they are the only two people we can depend on most of the time. Because of this, we decided to live close to them. Maybe after we’ve had the second child we’ll move closer to work instead and then the in-laws can stay over to babysit. But for now, we get free babysitting and that’s the best! Those are then the days or nights that I get to go on dates with my husband. We go to dinner plus a movie. We could get silly sometimes and dash into Timezone for a few minutes in-between but don’t tell anyone I said that!

So you see, we manage to keep things good even when we’re busy working outside our home. I do not regret the choices we made, although I wish I could spend more time with my son. That’s why I’m hoping that before end of 2012 I can work school hours only because in February 2013 my son will start Pre-Primary and would need picking up every day. I’m so looking forward to that!

If you are a working parent with school-age children, was it easy to change your work hours to match your children’s schedule? Or did you have to find another job?

Author Bio: Rhonda blogs at Silly Mummy where she writes about her life. She is married to the Scientist and is mum to Curly, a 4yo boy. She works almost full-time, studies part-time, blogs in-between and still has time to read John Grisham. 

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Review: Aveeno Baby

I got an email from the guys at Aveeno asking me if I would give their product, Aveeno Baby a go. OMG YES! Was my immediate answer. Why wouldn't I saw no to something I know that would work for my Lil' Tiger? For those who have just started reading my blog, the Lil' Tiger suffers from called ECZEMA and I am at lost of what to do about it. THIS was what happened the last time we had a really bad season of Eczema. 

{scars left by rogue Eczemas}

Since then, we have been to the National Skin Centre in Singapore, tried numerous of creams, ointments and remedy and nothing worked. Now after a year of trying this and that, I know what works best for my daughter. Summer is the worst time for her. HOT AND HUMID summer days. That will trigger the mother of all Eczema. We now know how to control it and one of the products that we normally use is the Aveeno Baby with Natural Cooloidal Oatmeal range. One of the girls from daycare did say that anything with Oatmeal works best in calming her Eczema and IT DOES. 

This product is fragrance free and it is ideal for me, because it doesn't irritate my super sensitve nose, and it doesn't irritate the Lil' Tiger's skin. We use the Soothing Relief Creamy Wash and the Soothing Relief Moisture Cream on super bad days, this is where you can see the rogue Eczema flaring up and is red and she will constantly scratch and scratch and scratch. I will run the bath and add the Creamy Wash in the water and let her sit and play in the water. After her bath, I slather on the Moisture Cream and the skin immediately absorbs the cream.  After an hour or so (and many "don't scratch" commands) her  rogue Eczema starts to calm down and it doesn't irritate her anymore and we are back to being a happy toddler.

On normal cool days when the rogue Eczema's rage is under control, I use the normal Wash and shampoo and the daily lotion. Both contain the same Natural Collodial Oatmeal but I guess not in a super high dose. The daily lotion is actually light that I use it on myself sometimes too. The Lil' Tiger's daycare bag now has an extra tube of the Soothing Relief Moisture Cream and the girls there know that on bad days, the Lil' Tiger will come up to them and ask them to slather on the moisturiser on her. 

Aveeno Baby, you desarve a YEAY! from the Lil' Tiger for keeping the rogue Eczema at bay. 

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*All reviews are based on my opinions. No payments were offered or received. 

I saw...

I woke up last Monday feeling like I normally would. "Gah, Mondays. How I loath thee." Got ready, got the Lil' Tiger ready, dropped her off at day care and went on my "merry" way to work. It was the end of the month, so it means that most of us are trying to get bills and our hours done so that we hit our target. It was a really busy and frustrating day. Busy, well because it was the end of the month and frustrating because our servers were reaaaaalllllyyy slow and I couldn't do my work fast enough. 

We met our target though. We went a little bit over. The powers that be were really happy with our performances and thanked us for effort. Ahh... I feel all warm and fuzzy again. I texted M that I might be late coming home. As I stepped out of the office, I started thinking about how tired I feel and how I was starting to feel hungry and how I was going to rush to get dinner on the table. *sigh* This is going to be a shit day. 

It was really dark when I reached home and as I was walking up the driveway, I spied through my living room window and what I saw, made me teared up a little bit.  What I saw, made me thankful for the life that I have chosen and for my tiny little family. What I saw made me burst with joy and happiness and maybe what I needed to be reminded off when I am angry and tired (and hungry). 

{a peep into my living room where everything happens}

What did I see you ask? I saw my lovely husband, M in the kitchen slaving away making us a simple dinner. He was as quick as a whip. Throwing in, gently, fresh noodles and fresh veggies all this while keeping an eye on the Lil' Tiger making sure that she is ok. I heard M chatting with her in Nepalese just making sure she was ok and she knows that he is there if she needed him. 

I saw the Lil' Tiger, playing by herself while mumbling to herself in baby talk. I saw her carry her chair from one end of the house to the other end of the house and align it with our sofa in the living room. I saw her putting her colour pencils and crayons away in it's designated cup that we have out for her in her toy area. I saw her putting away her toys in her toy box and yelling out "YEAY!" because she did something productive and useful. I heard her yelling "Daddy, daddy" telling him in her own words that she put her toys away. I saw her going up to him giving him a cuddle and making sure he is ok while cooking dinner. 

I stood outside our house, on our driveway (feeling very weirded out that my neighbour might think that I am a stalker), watching my daughter and my husband for a good 15 minutes. Just watching them taking care of each other, making sure that they are doing alright. For that, I am utterly thankful to the powers above and God that they have blessed me with all the joy and happiness that I need. 

I do not need an expensive holiday. I do not need a lot of money. I am content with what I have. I am thankful for my little family. 

Today's Fav...

 

I miss having a Greyhound. 

The Working Mum catch up...

So, it has been about a year since I went back to work full time after having the Lil' Tiger. How am I doing? I am doing great. I changed jobs twice in a span of a year and I couldn't be more happier. 

I think that if you are going to go to work full time and leave your child at daycare EVERY SINGLE DAY, the job that you go to has to be worth it and makes you happy. I found this out the hard way. I am not going to go into the specifics, but you can read it here. This I think is very very important for a working mum to be able to go to work and not be made to feel guilty for having a child. 

I had to quit from the second job because it was starting to effect me emotionally. I thought I could handle Family Law but I thought wrong. I constantly tell myself to detach from all the files that I was handling but I just couldn't. It was too real for me. I mean of course it was real, people are living through the pain of separation and divorce. It hit home to me because these cases often involves children AND that was one thing I couldn't detach from. My heart was aching for all the pain and suffering these kids were going through. It was hard for me to get up and go to work every morning. I feel like I was being forced into a difficult situation. I always made excuses for not going to work and pulling as much sick days as I can because I just couldn't deal with clients. So I left. 

After a long Christmas break, I started a new job. This job was brilliant. No involvement with the emotional side of life. I love that my current job has other working mums as well. My colleagues are an amazing bunch of people. We are always laughing and sharing stories about what our children did or did not do. I love that this office looks after working mothers (we recently celebrated one of our colleague's 20 years with the company!) 20 years is a long time for someone to be in a company these days. So it goes to show that this company is certainly doing something right. 

I no longer look for excuses for not wanting to go to work. In fact it's the total opposite. I look forward to going to work EVERY SINGLE DAY now. I do not feel as much guilt leaving the Lil' Tiger at day care 5 days a week. I feel like it is worth it. 

Working full time makes me appreciate the time that I spend with the Lil' Tiger. Every weekend I look for things that I can do with her, like going for a play at the park or to the local farmer's market or just pottering around in our tiny container garden watering plants and pulling weeds. 

So there you go. My working life so far. How have you been?