Life in Mono...

The Past...

The past sucks. I understand and appreciate that we all have to look back sometimes but there are some things that I just want to be swept under the rug. You know... and not think about it. Yes you need to learn from the past. I did that. I moved on. Took what ever lesson that I could and it made me a stronger person. A friend once said " Looking back only makes you walk into posts". Very true.

How can you escape the past? Simple answer, you can't. It will always be there. I was forced to think about the past when I did not want to do it in the first place. All the painful memories. All the memories that I do not want to think about (it's embarrassing to even think about it). But I have to accept the  fact that the past is there. I cannot change it. The past is there and  it creeps up on you every now and then. I don't know why it's even bothering me. Maybe because the past was a huge part of my life when I was growing up.

So here it is then, an open letter to my past.

Dear Past,

Thank you so much for reminding me about the joys and sorrow that we had in your email. I am glad that your trip back to my hometown, where we met and where you got 1/2 of your education, was a success. I am happy that you met up with all my best friends and keeping me updated with their happy lives. I know that they are happy. They are still in contact with me.

Thank you so much for reminding me that I use to pick you up from the Airport with hugs and kisses. Those were the days when I counted down the days and hours before your arrival. Those were the days that I couldn't sleep because I couldn't wait to see you. All those days are gone now. Leave it in the past. You do not need to constantly remind me of that. I remember. How could I not? It's my past too. I was there I lived though it.

Past, you do not need to remind me of where we once went to meet up. I know that place well. Once again I remember. I went thorough it. I remember. I remember the hot steamy day. It's the memory I want to forget the most. Yes of course it was one of our special memory but I have to make room for others now and you have to make room for yours too. You have a wife and 2 kids, they should take up loads of space in your head.

Why? What is the purpose of evoking these memories? You told me that you are never going back. That you are so much in love with your wife and care for your kids. What is it that you want me to acknowledge? That I still care for you? That I still love you? You know the answer to that already. The answer is NO.

Past, I am very happy with the life that I made for myself. I have a partner that loves me no matter what, we have a home, we have a family that cares for us. Yes, we do not have kids yet but that does not mean that we are not happy. That does not mean that our lives are incomplete. We do want kids but we will have it in our terms and when the time comes not what society deems fit.

So please keep all these memories to yourself. I do not need a constant reminder of what a shitty girlfriend I was to you. I know that already. Thanks.

Regards,

Feli 

Lastly, a quote from a great band called Oasis "Don't look back in anger, Don't look back in anger, I heard you say"

Some people...

are just plain rude!!! Seriously, some people have no phone etiquette at ALL. They should not be asked to answer the phones at ALL. Geeezus.

I wanted to make an appointment to see a GP for my annual Pap Smear Test, so I called up the Medical Center near my home. I was not sure if they have GP services there so I asked a simple question. This was how it went...

Feli: Hi I was wondering if you have a GP there

Recep: This is a medical center WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? (She asked sarcastically and yelling at the same time)

Feli: Well I was wondering if you have a GP available there.

Recep: WELL THIS IS A DOCTOR'S SURGERY. WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? (again sarcastically and yelling)

Feli: Well I wanted to ask to see if there is a GP Available there to make an appointment but since you are so rude I changed my mind. Thank you very much

Recep: Well I was not being rude........(by this time I already hung up on her)

I mean come on. Was my question that stupid for her to speak to me like that? I mean I answer the phones here at work and I have never talk to someone like that when they ask if there is a Lawyer in a Law Firm. I usually say "Yes we do" and even though that question is a given, I mean hello its a law firm, I have never ever talk to some one like that.

In Australia, well in my experience, a Medical Center or a Doctor's Surgery may not even have a GP service available. So I think my question is reasonable enough.

I have made an appointment with my usual doctor. The one that I saw when I was in Uni. The only reason that I didn't want to call him was his clinic is all the way in Mt Lawley. GAH.

See things like this shits me. I am angry and upset now. I hope she has a bad day too!!! NOW THAT'S WHAT I AM TALKING ABOUT BITCH.

Ok. Anger over. :*)

*image from corbis.com

Dig me a hole please...

*Picture courtesy of Ben*

My friend Ben has put up pictures of all my classmates when we were in our final year of High School. See if you can spot me in this one? Gee... I did not change much. Can you believe that this picture was taken 11 years ago? It brings back so many memories. FACT: I dated the two boys in this pic. One lasted a few months and the other I think for about a year. One is a Doctor now and the other I am not quite sure what he is doing at the moment. One broke my heart and I broke the other one's heart. I can be such a bitch sometimes.

I am still in touch with the both of them and is still good friends with them. Some people can not understand how can I be friends with my exes but I say WE CAN IF WE WANT TO. I still want to be their friend not because I still have feelings for them but because they are tied to my past and to tell you the truth, I think when the picture was taken, I was at my happiest. If there is such a thing called the Time Machine and it works, this is the point in time that I want to go back to. Where everything is uncomplicated and we can blame our immaturity when things goes wrong.

I am not having a great week this week. Its not work. Work is fine. Work is great actually. The Big Fish is really easy going these past few weeks. Even got a pay rise from him too. Its life outside work that's bugging me.

I don't know what's wrong with it. I think I need time alone away from everybody else and just not fuss over everyone. I need to find myself and sort some things out. I think the stress of moving and organising everything is catching up with me. This week, I wake up in the morning feeling like I have not slept through the night. I feel tired. Its not that I have been sleeping late. I sleep early every night. In fact for the past few days, I have been sleeping at 830pm. I don't know. Things at home is not going great either. Arguments and disagreement. The other day I had a heated fight with M and Walter got up from his bed and tried to hide in our bedroom with the cats. They, the cats, were already in there when we stared.

I know I do not usually rant about things that is going on at home, but I thought, this is my blog and it is a place where I want document my life and this I think is a turning point in my life. I need a break from life. I need a break from being me. The me who is bitchy, defensive, who says everything that comes to her mind and not care about other people's feeling. The me who does things impulsively and needs to be in control of everything around her Well.... I AM SICK OF BEING ME.

Well I do get bouts like this every few years and its usually time for me to sit and reflect things around me. I need to work on things and be alone. So , anyone got a shovel that I could borrow? I hope to come of this alive. Don't worry too much about me. I just need to be by myself in the corner. :*)

Done and Dusted...

THATS IT I HAD ENOUGH. Yesterday was the last straw. Telstra was suppose to come in and fix my line last night and they canceled on me. I was so freaking angry that I was screaming on my mobile to the girl on the other side while I was walking to the train station. I told them if they are not going to fix my line by today, I will cancel my account with them. And you know what? I did. I had to speak to a whole lot of people before I could cancel my account. They wanted me to pay $299.00 connection fee. I told them that they must be joking because I DID NOT GET A BLOODY CONNECTION.

Its like every single person that I speak to seems to be speaking DOWN AT me as if I am stupid. She said that I have been dialing a 13 number from my phone. I asked her, "Can you please tell me the number of your Faults line?" and she said "132203". Then I asked her, "UHUH... and what does it start with?"  She kept quiet. HELLO??? How dumb and stupid can you be to not even recognise that that is your company's fault line? Jeezus. I told her that I am not going to pay that $299.00 fee because I have not been connected ever since I applied for it.

She took at least 20 minutes talking to the faults department to try and confirm that. And when she came back she apologised and said that she can see that I reported that fault since I started my account and told me that I do not have to pay for the connection fee. Well....who is the dumb one now? Sometimes with these big large company, who is only after profit, you have to stand your ground and say no. I told her that I would bring the matter to court if Telstra insisted that I pay that $299.00.

So I am so happy that I canceled my account with them and I signed up to Wireless internet that do not require a telephone line to connect to the Internet and its with our old provider. YIPPIE.

SO SCREW YOU TELSTRA and your CRAPPY and DUMB service team. I am also writing to the complaints department and the Telecommunications Ombudsman.

GOOD RIDDENCE.

Anti Climactic Lies...

Ok. At this point, I am pretty pissed at Telstra. I am sick of calling them up every single day and asking about when my phone service will be up and running properly. Every single time I speak to someone they do not know what to tell me.

Yesterday, I received a text message telling me that my case is solved and there is no more faults. I was pretty happy that FINALLY its all over. I can connect to the internet once again. Yeay. I got home M saw a card stuck on to our front door and I went to pick it up. It said that "We do not need to come on to your premises to fix the phone lines as everything is done" OK GOOD.

BUT, as soon as I put my bag down on the floor and picked up the cordless phone to see if the number 1234 5678 comes up on my mobile, it did not have a RING TONE! BLOODY HELL. WHAT NOW? I had no choice but to call them up using my phone line, I told the girl on the other side of the phone that I will be making a claim from Telstra for using my mobile to call them. She asked me "Is your mobile with Telstra?" I asnwered her "ARE YOU KIDDING? WITH THE BRILLIANT SERVICE THAT I GET FROM TELSTRA?" She then suggested that she will call my mobile and asked me for the number and I told her that I am sure that she will have it on the system because I have called every single day.

GRRRRRR..... it turns out the stupid technician needs to come in to my premises to check the internal lines. She read me something about charging $105.00 and I told her she must be crazy because why would I pay for something that is not even my fault. It was brilliantly working for 1 week and then it just decided to change phone number the next without any warning and we are living in a new house. HOW CAN IT POSSIBLY BE OUR FAULT. Idiots.

She said that she will put in for a workman to come in WEDNESDAY evening from 5-7pm. GREAT. I have to rush back and wait for the fcuker to come and I KNOW that he will not turn up. If he does not turn up I swear to God that the next person picking up my phone on Wednesday evening will have an earful from me.

I called up today to check if a technician has picked up the job and the person on the other line was talking DOWN TO ME AS IF I AM AN IDIOT for not understanding that there is a lot of work to be done. UMMMMM....Owh I do understand that you do have a lot of jobs to do Mr Smarty-Pants-who-claims-that-he-was-once-a-technician-himself. IF you guys got it fixed the first time around there won't be a lot of jobs now is there. He said that the technician should have left a card saying that he would need to come into the premises to check the internal lines. UMMMM.....either the technician is stupid and do not know how to fill in a card or the technician is stupid and left the wrong card in the wrong house.

I am frustrated. REALLY REALLY FRUSTRATED. Telstra is the leading provider for telecommunications in Australia. They should be a leader in their field. They own most of the telecommunication lines through out Australia AND THIS IS WHAT I GET FROM THEM? Most of the people I know will avoid using Telstra at any cost. In this case. I have no choice. If this does not resolve by tomorrow, I will make a formal complaint to the Telecommunications Ombudsman of Australia. I have the names of the people that I spoke with, the time and the stupid card.

Can you tell that I am really pissed?

A heads up...

The lovely Mlle A sent me these links.

Looks like I am not the only one that got this. A warning for Gmail and Hotmail users.

And here I thought GMail is safe. Nothing is safe anymore. Gah...

Went Fishing....

Grrrrr....... some idiot out there thought that it would be funny to  use my email and spam everyone in my address book AND DELETE EVERYONE IN IT AFTER THAT!!!

My dear friends, if you have received that email with the tagline "hello" from me please trash it in the bin. Its not from me and I am so sorry that you have been sent that email.

I have reported it to the Gmail team and changed my password.

I am sooooo sooooo sorry.

And thanks to the lovely Stef for letting me know someone went phishing with my email.

Note to the stupid little fuckwit that went phishing and spamming and then deleting my address book "I hope you and your computer crashed". Like I said, I believe in Karma and she will bite back.

Keep QUIET!!!

Gahhh... I don't know why some people a.k.a my neighbour who lives downstairs, have no decency to keep the music down after 10pm!!!! I hope the Crazy Cat Lady calls the Police to shut them up. They are an agro bunch too. Nana heard them fighting in their house last week. GAHHHH.... Bogans! (they are the equivalent to White Trash for those of you in the US)

Idoits...

                   

I came home today with disturbing news. Will let you guys know in a bit. All I can say is I hope those punks die in a car crash.

Owh yah... I found this Spell with Flickr tool via How about Orange.

Abused...

Feli: Good Morning LSWA. Feli speaking.

Crazy Lady: Business Settlements. NOW!

Feli: Hold on please..

CL: NO NOW!

Feli: Hold on please...

*puts her on hold*

*Jen comes to my desk....*

Jen: Its that Crazy Lady isn't it? She was having a go at me a moment ago when I told her to ring your number.

Feli: Owh Gawd...

*picks up the phone*

CL: DO YOU WORK FOR TELSTRA? DO YOU THINK I AM MADE FROM MONEY? YOUR AD IN THE YELLOW PAGES IS MISLEADING. I WANT BUSINESS SETTLEMENTS NOW...

Feli: Hold on please...

CL: NO I WANT TO SPEAK TO SOME ONE NOW...

*puts her on hold*

Feli: Sorry Mam no one is here to give you a quote.

*At this point the crazy lady started to abused me and I put down the phone. Five minutes later the phone rings again*

CL: Business Settlements (in a clamer voice hoping that I would be fooled)

Feli: Hold on please (I was thinking do you think that I am stupid? I know its you again)

*puts her on hold*

Feli: Sorry mam the lawyer that normally does business settlements is in a meeting

CL: WTF are you guys doing? You bastard and arsehole make me wait so long on the phone blah blah blah........*click*

Yep I slam the phone down on her. This happened at 1030 this morning.

Its amazes me how people can be so rude to someone over the phone when they just rang in. Who does she think she is? The Queen of England? I spoke to Jen after that and I we could not fathom why she was so rude. Maybe she got up at the wrong side of the bed. Geez...I pity the poor settlements team that will be doing her settlement.

You know what I wanted to say to her when she was abusing me? I wanted to tell her if something crawled up her back side and made her Queen of the World for the day.

P/s: When you make calls to the a Landline from another landline or the public phone here, in Aussie Land, it will only cost you $0.40 per call and you can talk till the cows come home and it will still be $0.40. So I dont know what was she complaining about.