Ok. So it's been a while since I blogged. Everything just happened so fast and so slow at the same time, I don't know where to start. This is a long and maybe a "little bit too gory to some people" post so skip it if you want to. I am just writing this down so that I remember.
I was way past my due date and the Lil' Tiger still refuses to come out so on Monday, 13th September 2010, I went to see my Dr and did an internal exam. He said that I was already 2cm dilated but nothing was happening. We made an appointment with the hospital so that I will be induced on Wednesday. So I was sent home again.
Two hours later, I went to the toilet and I noticed that there was a "jelly" like discharge coming out and I was really bleeding. I went to my fridge, cause that is where I kept the list of things to watch out for, and confirmed that I had a "show". I was ecstatic. Maybe I do not have to be induced at all. I called the hospital to tell them that I had a "show" and they confirmed it as well. They then tell me that I should really be resting at home and go for walks if I can to get things going. So off I went on a walk with M. It was difficult. I was huffing and puffing and poor M had to wait for me while I take a breather every now and then.
The next day, I woke up and still nothing. I was beginning to think that she is never coming out but on the bright side, I was scheduled to e induced the next day.
Wednesday came along and M and I were preparing to go to the labour ward at the hospital all day. I took a shower, washed my hair, packed my bag and relaxed at home. I was excited and scared at the same time. I killed time with watching movies and tv shows. At 5, M and I made our way to the hospital.
I was checked in and was shown the way to the labour ward. It was this big room with a bed but to me it felt like I was going to sleep in a large toilet. The room didn't have any windows. I was starting to feel a little claustrophobic. The Midwives were all so nice to me, they made sure I was comfortable. An hour later, my Dr came and started the procedure for induction. It was uncomfortable. I was trying so hard not to swear. :*) After the induction, I was observed for about an hour and then the nurses said that I could walk around the ward to get things moving. M was sent home to get some rest but the Midwife told him that we would call him if something happens.
I told them that I would be comfortable in the room that I was assigned to rather than the labour ward. So off I went, I took my book out and started reading. Since I was in a public hospital, I had to share a room with 2 other people. In my room there were 2 teen moms who have just delivered their baby the day before. One of them, was on her phone the whole night and I couldn't concentrate on my book or fall a sleep. So I walked back down to the labour room where it was quiet and calm.
I manage to fall asleep at 11pm only to be woken up at 2am because I was leaking. I called for the Midwife and she confirmed that my water just broke. We have Progress people! Then...the first wave of contractions started. To me it feels like period cramps only it radiates to the back and comes in waves. I called for M to come back to the hospital. It's a good thing that we live so close to the hospital, M was there in 15 minutes.
Together, M and I timed my contractions and it was 5 - 7 minutes apart. The midwife checked if my cervix has opened up a little bit more but it was still at 3 cm. We still have a long way to go she said. M stayed with me, sleeping on the recliner that they had there. I couldn't go back to sleep because the contractions were distracting me from falling a sleep, so I asked the Midwife to see if there is anything that could help me sleep or at least help me get comfortable. She told me that my Dr has prescribed Morphine for me and I immediately said yes to it. So I was given a jab and manage to fall asleep.
I woke up the next day with a pang of pain. I knew that the Morphine is out of my system, I had to concentrate on breathing and managing the contraction. I was really exhausted by lunch time and was on the verge of crying. M was there to hold my hand and was telling me to breathe in and out. After lunch, the midwife came in and did an internal exam and I was told that I was only 5cm dilated. URGH!! I was really frustrated with myself. I really wanted the Lil Tiger out at this point. The contractions were coming closer and more intense, I couldn't take it anymore I asked for an epidural. I was tired, feeling sick and everything was aching.
They gave me the epidural at around 4pm and I was happy again. My Dr came in one hour later and was telling me that we might have to have a Cesarean done. I was really confused. I didn't want to have a Cesarean done on me. I was all game into doing it naturally. I manage to convinced my Dr that I want to wait it out till maybe after the night, if she is not out by the morning, then we can opt for a Cesarean. He agreed to it and did an internal exam, he was happy with result. I was 8cm. He did gave me an ultimatum though, he said he will come back again before midnight to check on me and if I am dilated more than 8cm, we will have to get her out by Cesarean. I agreed.
M and I killed time by walking up and down the corridor. It was difficult because I was strapped on to all these monitors. I felt like time was moving sooooo slooowwww... I told M to go home to freshen up while I take a little nap.
After dinner, things took a turn for the worst. I was so cold I started shaking, I thought it was the side effect from the Epidural but the Midwife was saying that my body was burning. They took my temperature and confirmed that I had high fever and was monitoring the baby closely. At 11pm my Dr came and told me that I have to have the Cesarean for the sake of my baby and I agreed.
After that everything just went by so quickly. Calls were made to surgeons, my anesthetist, the pediatrician, nurses and theater nurses. I was prepped by my midwife and all I can see was M standing in the corner looking concerned. I was really scared and didn't know what to expect. I had to stop myself from crying. I kept on looking at M for reassurance. I was given a stronger dose of epidural and I was numb from the waist down.
I was then rolled to the theater room. The trip there took a long time. I was shaking uncontrollably and was scared. I kept telling myself not to shake too much or they will not be able to operate on me. They took M to another room to change and he came out in scrubs. He sat at the top of my head and started talking to me to calm me down.
Then they started, I could feel tugging and pushing but there was not pain. M was telling me over and over again that we are going to see our Lil' Girl soon. After one huge push by my Dr, I could hear a baby crying. The surgeon was congratulating me and M over and over again. They asked if we wanted to see our little girl and we both said yes at the same time. They showed us our little girl and I started tearing up. She was beautiful. After they cleaned her and wrapped her up, she was placed on my chest and I had this overwhelming feeling of love.
She is finally here. I can finally hold her. I can finally see her! Lil' Tiger was born on the 17th September 2010 at 0014 weighing 4.36 kilos (9 pounds 10 oz) with a head circumference of 37cm. She was 57cm long . They took her and M away to the nursery while they cleaned me up and stitched me back up.
When I was finally in my room, they brought her out to me to bond and breastfeed for the first time. She was a pro at it. It's like she has been doing it all her life. One of the midwives told me that I made the right decision having a Cesarean done because she said I could have never pushed her out naturally without any complication.
The Lil' Tiger was indeed trying to tell me something when she didn't want to come out. She wanted to tell her mom that she was too big to come out vaginally.
Looking back on all of this after nearly 2 weeks, it all seems unreal to me. I know I will forever have the scar from the Cesarean and I will have a story to tell the Lil' Tiger when she grows up.
M and I are coping well. We do have some rough days and some good days but I know it's part of parenthood and we have to learn everything as we go. M is really taken by the Lil' Tiger and so have I. It's like we have fallen in love all over again.